


Weird isekai Skit

by GayLolis



Series: Isekai Skit [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Nonsense, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayLolis/pseuds/GayLolis
Summary: This is the repost of my stoy from ScribblehubThe 'usual' Isekai story told in short skits--sometimes it can be long.Can be really weird, screwed up, and stupid.
Series: Isekai Skit [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016242
Kudos: 6





	1. Truck

On the way home, I saw a Truck speeding at me.

"Oh, are you approaching me?" I said.

"I can't send you to another world without getting closer." the Truck replied.

"Then come as clo--"

My consciousness blurred before I could finish my line.


	2. Press Enter to Skip

[Are you familiar with Isekai stories?]

"Yes."

I found myself in another world, just like that.


	3. Arrival

I arrived in a forest clearing.

It was quiet, with no sign of monsters. My status was pretty overpowered--just the way I like it.

I didn't want to show my status--who knows if a potential enemy would read this story and knew my weakness right away.

Plus, it'd soon get so long, nobody will give a damn--not even myself.

Anyway, I saw a cute-colored mushroom.

It made me wanna get high.

So I plucked it and laid my back against a tree.

I bit the whole cap, after washing it with water magic.

"Hey, wait a minute..."

My health bar turns purple a bit, and it quickly reverted back to red.

[Learned Skill 'Poison Resistance'.]

I didn't even get high at all.

Fuck off, will ya?

Why can't I at least get high in this world? I'd be cursed if I can't even get drunk with alcohol.

As if the Gods had blessed me, there was a cute slime before my eyes.

Ahh...I don't care if it will strike or devour me to death. I want to snuggle against that lovely blob.

Yes, it jumped straight and lunged at me!

I spread my arms wide to embrace it, but as my fingertips reached its body—it made a loud 'pop'.

Its body disappeared quickly in thin air, followed by a message.

[You have gained ... experience and ... coins!]

"WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKIN' SOAP BUBBLE?"

[Learned Skill 'Intimidation'.]

God damn it, System—stop responding to each of my actions!

[DAGA KOTOWARU.]

I'd take it back, you're cool.

==

Perhaps due to my intimidation skill, the monsters in this forest all ran away from me. From slimes, goblins, and even wolves.

I guess it's fine. Even if they're monsters, I won't go out of my way to slaughter them, if they didn't do me harm.

Leveling up?

If the only way to get stronger is by killing others, even the innocent--their god must be a psychopath.

I will find other ways if I could.

...but I would not hesitate to kill in order to protect my life, and those I care about. Of course, my safety came first.

Can't protect anyone if you're dead—and I have no plans being a guardian spirit.

Speak of the devil, by the time I went outside the forest, I saw a carriage being ambushed by bandits.

"Hand over your valuables and women!"

"We had no money, items, food, and we're all men." a middle-aged man spoke, his voice sound really depressed.

The rest of his men looked like they're about to commit suicide.

The bandit leader's smug smile vanished, and he ordered his men to check.

"None, boss!"

He eyed the merchants carefully, "I'm going to be real here—how the hell can you travel all the way here if you didn't have any supplies at all?"

"Because...we're already dead."

The merchant leader's skin slowly turned grey; his skin and innards hollowed to bones. The rest of his entourage followed suit, the carriage included—before everything collapsed in a certain pattern.

[It's just a prank, bro!

Meme Necromancer]

What the hell? Guess even necromancers are into memes.

The Bandit Leader expression turned sour, "Why the hell would someone do such a pointless thing?"

His minions could only shrug his shoulders.

...and amidst this confusion, I approached the leader, "Brother, the harvest ain't good today, eh?"

Still his face down, the Bandit Leader replied hoarsely, "Yeah, I guess we'd have to stick with hard bread, not even soup."

I handed him the berries I happen to pick on the way, "This should help ya belly."

As the Bandit Leader raised his face and scanning me from eye to toe, his eyes widened, "You..."

...and his minions raised his weapons in unison. They didn't seem like a ragtag bunch, more like trained soldiers.

I wouldn't push my luck against these guys if they got serious—I might die.

The Leader held off his hands and their weapons were lowered, "Taste it first, I don't want any poisoned goods."

Since I had poison resistance, it wouldn't matter.

Not like it's poisoned either.

I gave several noms, showing them I was fine. The minions took turns, with no side effects.

They might seem rather careless—what if there's some long-delay poison? Hmm...not like I knew.

The Leader took his bite last, and he finally smiled, "This is good stuff, brother. Rarely do people act kindly to scum like us," he rubbed his back, "Anything you would like to know?"

"Just the way to the next town."

He told me to just follow the riverbank downhill, and I would soon reach a city.

As I turned my back, the Leader shouted, "Hey, you're just going to trust us like that? What if we planned an ambush on the way?"

"You would already rob me and my berries then. If you're planning so, why bother telling me?"

"Brother..." the Leader and his minions gave me a serious look, "To be honest, we used to..."

I lifted my palm before he could continue.

"Don't give me backstories at this point."

I quickly sauntered away from the bandits before they made me trigger any more flags.

Probably due to my walking speed, a city came in full-view.

I was like--should I join the Adventurer's Guild?

No, that's too mainstream.

==

[Learned Skills]

Poison Resistance  
Intimidation

Note: the System will only give skills that might be important for the future plot.

Other skills will be hidden for plot convenience.

"Don't think I didn't read that."

[Stop breaking the Fourth Wall.]


	4. The First City

"The permit will be one silver."

Aw, shoot.

I didn't have enough coins to enter the city.

I only manage to defeat a single slime, which only nets me a few coopers.

"I don't have enough for now—can I use my items as collateral? I would redeem it later."

"What do you have?"

I handed the guards a stack of berries from my belt bag.

"Keep the berries."

As such, they took my bag and handed the permit. Since I had the inventory, it's not a problem--I could stash everything in my clothes pocket.

Even if they took it, I would make enough money to buy another one—I don't have a special attachment to it.

I also asked them for directions and how to make money.

As usual, they recommended the Adventurers' Guild—I don't think it fits me. Going to dangerous places with people was too scary.

"Anything else?"

They also recommend the Worker's Union. You'd find various odd jobs pasted with a certain reward. It's all menial work for those strapped for money. Most of the jobs were only enough to last a meal.

One you'd always find were things no one would do with low pay—cleaning the chamber pots and sewers.

...but the work was perfect for me.

==

Entering the city, it really made me realize I was in a Fantasy world.

There were various races out there—walking and breathing in real life. Those with long ears; green skin; animal ears, along with a pair of thick and skinny midgets.

Weapon and Armor shops; Magic and Item shops, just like RPGs.

I also saw people dressed in rags and chained in collars.

I see—there are slaves in this world.

Contrary to what most believe, slavery still existed in modern Earth. There's always a loophole to enslave others. Such as working ungodly hours with low pay and no welfare.

The term 'Corporate Slave' existed for a reason.

Though I was just a nobody. I'm not here to change the world when I had no fucking idea how it works.

I just wanted to live at my own pace—not having to do with anything, if I could.

Anyway, I made sure to keep my hands in my pocket and avoid the back alleys. Eventually, I came to the Workers' Union safely.

There were a bunch of shirtless men that looked malnourished by the entrance.  
They sat crouched on the patio, and the doors were closed shut.

The job boards were outside--filled with these cleaning requests, and an empty stall right beside.

I took several chamber pot cleaning jobs and put them on the stall's desk.

The guys only glanced at me but paid no interest. It took several minutes before the receptionist guy came, and approved my job.

He also said, while accepting jobs were free, you'd have to pay a penalty if you fail.

Also, you can only collect payment from the Union, not the client. Any violation will result in a fine.

Whatever.

After accepting the job, the System also issued a Quest, which was the exact same with the job board.

In addition, it would reward me with a decent EXP and cash. The same kind of quest was also repeatable.

Yay.

I decided to finish it in one go, starting from the nearest Inn. The owner guided me to the back, filled with a god-awful scent.

As soon as he left, I sucked its contents to my inventory and cleaned it with water magic.

It only took several minutes, but it drained my mana quickly.

[You have leveled up!]

Regardless, the level up restored my mana and health, enabling me to finish the remaining job. I didn't forget to return to the Union and finalize my work.

I gained several levels just from completing the Quest, and the amount of gold was enough to stay for a long time at the Inn. So I booked a room for a week. I didn't plan to stay for long.

It made me so happy, that I could become stronger without killing.

...but I also obtained something even better.

[Learned skill 'Transmutation'.]

The power to turn urine into gold.

Probably gold to urine as well.

==

Before the guards forgot, I redeemed my bag and paid the silver coin.

They were surprised by how quickly I made money; I lied, saying that I was into trading.

I was let off after a round of scolding. They said I could get a harsh fine if I set up a shop without registering in the Merchant's Guild.

The building was probably one of the most luxurious I've ever seen. Even the people were dressed in fancy clothes. Compared to the Adventurer's Guild, which I passed by, it's like Day and Night.

The seats were even made out of thick wood and leather; its walls and floors  
from carved stones. An ornate chandelier hung high, with a trace of mana emanating from it.

It took one gold coin for a VIP registration, which I had about enough. It gave me the privilege to rent a stall, and the guild wouldn't take a percentage of my profits for themselves.

Although, when it came to trade commission from third parties, they will still gain a significant sum. Though it's not my problem, I just want to pull a bit of stunt and call it a day.

Lastly, I got a new skill by registering.

[Learned skill 'Trading'.]

...but first, I felt like taking a dump, after eating the Inn's lunch.

While the bread and soup were kinda tasteless, it felt better when I sprinkled spices and rock salt made from my Earth magic.

They might notice something strange when washing the dishes, but it's none of my business.

I went back to my room, and there's only a small room with curtains, a chamber pot, a bucket filled with water, and a washcloth.

No, they would be fucking angry if you wiped your ass with the cloth. I think it's for your body.

There wasn't any soap at all.

I hate this kind of toilet.

Which was kinda strange how they didn't even stink. Or did they bring their own soap from the Item Shop?

I'd better check it later.

What if I made a sitting toilet with Earth magic and a bidet system with my Water Magic?

Hmm...too troublesome.

In the end, I just conjured a stone chair with a wide hole, leading to the chamber pot. For the bidet, I just used water magic, but it's kinda hard to manipulate the output, so it wouldn't pierce my anus.

If there's a magic wand that could regulate my output, it'd be nice. I wonder what face they'd make if I said I just wanted to spray my ass.

These wands would probably worth several hundred golds, so it'd take a while.

Cleaning up my shit, there's now a good amount in my inventory.

Which led me to finally try the [Transmutation] feature of the System.

It can convert any item to points. You can buy stuff from the Shop with it.

[Converting...]

Holy shit.

The value was higher than I thought?

[Correction: Manure was the ingredient for a high-quality fertilizer. This value increased since the inhabitants knew to use mana.]

Let's see what I can buy from it.

Not bad.

It nets me a large bag of boiled potatoes.

Nice!

Time to level up the [Trading] skill, just as planned.

==

Learned Skill

[Transmutation]

[Trading]

[Poison Resistance] and [Intimidation] is greyed since they may not be relevant to the plot anymore.

"Was there no point in learning skills at all?"

[Heaven rewards the hard-working.]

"Don't dodge the question!"

Gaylolis: In the end, it's just another story 'bout someone doing whatever they want, eh?

"I don't mind, Author."

Gaylolis: You're welcome, MC-kun.


	5. Weird Flex

"So, System—can you help me a bit?"

[I swear you're up to no good.]

"Will it work or not?"

[Let's just try.]

I spent the entire day trading the potato back and forth with the System. At some point, I could automate the trading and finally sleep.

Eventually, it reached the max level.

Fuck yeah.

[Why does it have to be a potato?]

"Tossing hot potatoes around is quite iconic, don't you think?"

It went silent.

I guess my reasoning was just that awesome.

==

I went to the Merchant's Guild after having breakfast.

To the receptionist lady, I handed her a gold coin.

"I'd like to buy the entire Merchant's Guild, please."

An old man popped below the counter, and yelled:

"Deal!"

What the fuck.

==

Learned Skill

[Trading] – Max Level

[Now that you own the entire Merchant's Guild, what do you want?]

"I'd like to clean the sewers."

[...]


	6. Sewer Cleaning

So I arrived at the sewers and proceed to SUCC everything to my inventory.

Eventually, it was empty.

With the assistance of wand, accessories, and potions I bought, slightly clean sewage began to pour.

[Then what's the point of cleaning?]

"If I cleaned everything, people are going to lose their jobs."

I didn't mention my joy of leveling up since I'm not Korean enough.


	7. Chapter 7

"Transmute!"

I wonder how many points it'd give me?

[Due to your max-level 'Trading' skill, you have gained 'ERROR" bonus points.]

[The Transmutation Shop is currently under maintenance.

ETA: NaN]

['Transmutation' skill disabled.]

...what.

I had a bad feeling about this.

Even if the maintenance's about to end--that's when the maintenance would begin!

[You played too much shitty mobile games.]

Shut up.

==

Disabled Skills

[Transmutation]

[Now, what are you going to do, MC-kun?]

"Since I couldn't transmute poop or sewage anymore, I'm not sure."

[Sounds like a pointless thing to do.]

I know, right.

I had no idea how I should spend the rest of my week. My brain must've been filled with poop and sewage.

Wait...

"I should try learning some Space Magic."

My most wanted cheat is a magical space. Where I can just enter and exit as I will.

No other creatures can enter unless I allow it.

I realize that I was fortunate to arrive near a town, but what if I need to spend several days on the road?

No matter how strong I was, it's still scary to sleep in the open; minding the dangers that lurk everywhere.

It's tiring to rely on companions--I also have to watch their back, which made it even worse.

If only I could just retreat to my magic space and sleep.

Ideally, I could move my spawn point in case my enemies decide to camp there.

...but who knows if someone could break through my space, and invade me from the other dimension?

When worse come to worst, it's better than sleeping in the open!

Maybe, if there's a wifi connection, I should just cut it when I sleep. Nobody can invade me if I'm offline.

[You know, sometimes I wish you'd be this intelligent more often.]

"Do you have any leads on the Space Magic?"

[Why don't you gather some information yourself?]

"I guess you really don't know."

Fine then.

I'll just find the Thieves' Guild and buy them.

Information is power, after all.

[In the first place, do you know where they are?]

I have no idea.

[...]

Gaylolis: I think it's pretty fun, when an OP MC struggled every now and then, and doesn't always get what he wants.

"Fuck you, Author."

Gaylolis: I have no fetish for men. You're not even a trap.


	8. Space Magic

My first stop was the library.

Since I just want general info, there's no need for the Thieves' Guild.

As I expected, they didn't have books regarding magic—but they have the stuff I need, to plan my next journey.

When I finished acquiring the magic space, I'd probably spend several days cramming all the necessary information.

==

Oh right, you might be wondering if I kicked up some fuss after I purchased the entire merchant's guild.

While he said 'deal'--the guild master end up kicking me out; it garnered several laughs from the staff members.

I'd probably known as that drunk fool who spouts a retarded joke.

Later, he invited me to his office, through a secluded back entrance. To make a long story short, the deal's finished.

Now, the guild's profits will be linked with the System. As such, I could invest my money and transfer a reasonable amount to my inventory.

If I tried taking too much, I couldn't confirm the transaction.

My other reason for seeking the Thieves' Guild had something to do with shutting up related news about me.

...but if they tried so, the world might know I was some big-shot, which would invite troubles.

No matter how well I hid it, a master of information gathering could take anything they want—even my real status.

Though I didn't specifically want to be low-key or high-profile.

I just want to live however I want.

Let's just cross the bridge, when we get there.

For now, I just want to do the things I can, and hope for the best.

==

"I'm sorry, the book concerning Space Magic was out of stock. It wasn't a popular item."

"Do you have any in your personal collection?"

"That one's not for sale."

"Can I just take a look?"

"Well...I'm not particularly interested in Space Magic--it's just there for a reference. If you made sure the book's in good shape, you can borrow it, as long you're staying here."

I nodded.

"Wait a bit, I'm going to my study."

The shopkeeper told his assistant to watch the store, and several minutes later, he came with an old-looking tome.

[Introduction to Space Magic.]

Fixing his round glasses, he added, "This will only account for the general introduction and its basic principles. For the spells, they're not open to the public, since it's dangerous. You need to be a certified Magus to look at the actual spells."

I thanked the shopkeeper and went back to my Inn.

Since I could cast magic through imagination alone, I didn't see any need for spellbooks.

...but for Space Magic, I didn't know where to start.

The concept of 'Space' was something abstract to me. That's why I need some reference.

I tried touching the book with my fingertips—thank goodness there's no system prompt that would consume it.

Though that means I have to rack my brain to learn it.

I hope my poor brain can handle this.

==

Oh, it's easier than I thought.

The System summarized the important points in an easy-to-understand way.

[Space is everywhere; it encompasses everything, but Space itself is finite.

Even the Universe itself had a limit; it's just extremely wide.

To imagine Space, you need to feel it's borders.

Smaller spaces were easier to grasp. Like a small, cramped room, or when you insert your palm to a small container.

As long you had a full grasp of its Area, your space will remain stable.]

It might be hard to concentrate for long, but...

Aha.

[System, how can I use my Inventory as a reference point?]

All I need was something just like Inventory, but time will flow like usual, or probably even slower. It also can store living beings, and alter its contents to my preference.

Somehow, I already finished after staying up all night.

I end up dozing off inside my own space, amidst its green and peaceful field, with a farm that can grow top-grade fruits and vegetables.

When I woke up, the sun already hung high, and the first batch of crops already started to sprout.

I didn't need to water them, nor there will be pests.

Near the field was a modern-styled garden shed. It was fully furnished with kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, PC room, and stuff.

"I think I'm going to stay here and be a NEET forever."

[...and soon will run out of mana from the collapsing space.]

"I don't think so?"

[You have leveled up!]

Though seriously, this space would only consume negligible mana when I was back in the real world.

I could feel my experience points rising slowly, but surely.

To be honest, most of the mana was spent on adding the props and functions to the spac--

"Fuck, I missed the Inn's breakfast."

Just you wait, when I got a housekeeper and steady source of ingredients, I'd have a modern-style hearty meal--thrice a day—plus snacks too!

[Despite being so OP, you sure focus on the most pointless things.]

"Don't look down on food!"

==

Added Stuff

[Owner of a Magical Space]

[So, MC-kun—seeing as you need a housekeeper, why don't you buy a slave? Maybe a beautiful young woman, that way, she could keep you company at night.

It's also nice to have someone to come home to, don't you agree?

It's a lot, lot better than letting them fall into the hands of a rotten noble who'd treat them like trash, abuse and defile them until they died miserably.]

"Might as well tell me to start a slave harem."

[Isn't it a good choice? You're a lonely young man without a woman's touch...]

"I have to say no."

If I didn't save these slaves, there will be other lonely and horny young men and women from Earth, who needs a night embrace. From the opposite sex, the same sex, of both genders, and those without gender.

This kind of wish-fulfillment Isekai will have no shortage of main characters.

If I went to the Adventurer's Guild, I'd be sure to run to at least fifteen of them.

Everyone always went there and cause some havoc.

My little stunt of buying the Merchant's Guild was nothing special.

...but if it involved the Adventurer's Guild, the King would probably invite me personally to fuck his daughter, after I killed the Demon King and made his daughter a sex slave.

It made me think those 'Yuusha-sama' were really, really, a horrible person. If I associate myself with them, I'd probably experience the worst nightmare.

[Your opinion is really biased, but somehow I agree. Sorry for suggesting such things.]

"If I have to pick someone, I don't want a slave."

[You mean, a soulmate? Someone who accepts you as you are?]

"Robots are better."

[You're not a human being.]

"It takes one, to know one."


	9. Mother Earth

About Space Magic, there's another thing that caught my fancy.

[Teleport]

The spell that could transfer myself across long distances, to the place I was familiar with.

Let's start by returning to Earth.

My most familiar place was my room.

I closed my eyes and imagine the last time I kept touching the walls.

After a few seconds, the air felt different; it had no trace of magic energies.

Yesterday's events felt like a dream when I opened my eyes.

I finally came back.

The End.

[I'm still here, you know.]

==

The teleportation ends up consuming most of my mana. Since Earth had little to no magic, my regeneration rate was super slow.

It was only a little bit before I leveled up too.

[I don't see a problem since you can just sleep to fully restore it.]

Glad to hear that.

Anyway, I went downstairs and see my mother cooking my favorite food just as usual. As if she already expected me to come back at this hour.

[Your mother is pretty. Her cooking smelled nice as well.]

Thanks--she is the most important woman in my life.

My father's out at work like usual, and my little sister's probably at her college dorms since it's not yet weekend.

I sat on the dining table, as she's about to finish her cooking.

"Mom, I..."

"Don't sweat it."

She put my tray of fried rice with scrambled eggs, ham, and diced veggies.

While she made do with a bowl of havermut and hot milk.

"Sorry I didn't tell you in advance."

"I don't think you should bother if you're not breaking the law," she scooped the cereal to her mouth, and her youthful smile beamed, "When I was in a gang, I stayed out all the time, even raided tons of places."

[I started to understand why she is your mother. You're both absurd.]

"Ah ha ha..."

While it's just a day, I missed my mother's food.

...and for some reason, my mana was now half-filled!

"You seem happy today. Like you're in some life-changing trip."

My mother sat with arms crossed on the table.

"It all started when that truck..."

Whoops.

She let a long sigh, "Did you get injured somewhere?"

"I swear I was hit straight up, and I found myself in another world—but mine didn't feel different."

Did I actually die?

All I knew, I got a change of clothes fitting for Isekai.

[What do you think?]

"Hmm..."

Well, forget about it—my brain hurts.

"You'd better take me there next time—got it?"

I guess she finally noticed my weird getup.

Wait a minute...

"What about Dad and Lil' Sis?"

"They can cook or do take-outs. I'm bored to death here."

==

Mom gave me a long list of groceries and lots of extra money, just in case she'd be enjoying her time for a month.

I wouldn't question her ability to fight, she once destroyed a mafia organization on her own--cuz they picked on her favorite candy store.

I changed back to my casual clothes and walked to the supermarket.

[Earth sure is nice. No monsters; no magic; no need to bother with anything.]

"I know ri--"

As I was about to enjoy my leisure walk--another truck sped towards me!

"Fuck."

Sorry, but my Mom's errands came first.

I didn't know what exactly happened, but the entire world seems to come to halt; everything became grey, with a loud ticking noise inside me.

[One second had passed.]

{Two seconds had passed.]

[...an hour had passed.]

"Hey, it's just three seconds! Don't screw around with me."

[Knowing you, I bet you could do it for an hour or twelve.]

"Sigh, let's get this over wit--"

To my surprise, I saw the truck flash—and it's right in front of me!

It's still during the time stop too.

Until I saw a streak of light, and that metal abomination was cleaved into a million pieces.

I saw my mother with her napkin and kitchen knife.

She spat against the ground.

"Don't bother me and my son, ever again."

...as the stopped time revert to normal, I began to question my own prowess.

Even after all of this—I'm still just a mommy's boy.

==

Added Title.

[The Returner]

[MC-kun, your mother seems cool--what about your Dad and Lil' Sis?]

"Maybe I'll tell it—in the future chapters."

[Mou...]


	10. Pervert Gene

I went to the nearby supermarket for my mother's groceries. She told me to take it easy. I don't really have to go the next day. She'd tag along whenever I'm ready.

As I would stay in another world for long, I'd also brought tons of food and snacks from the same store.

I could convert the coins to real money, and the amount was more than enough, to live my entire life in luxury.

As I bought too much, it caused quite a commotion, and the bags were quite heavy.

It's troublesome to stash it to my inventory, while everyone's looking. So I just carried it to the nearby parking lot. After the System ensured no one's looking, I stashed it all.

Now that I did my errands, I'd like to travel to the shopping district and hoard my favorite stuff.

Like games, manga, anime, and novels!

[What about porn?]

"Well...I could just buy it online."

[I get it, you have a weird fetish.]

"Shut up."

Despite already eating lunch, I want to go to the street stalls for my snacks. I went to the cake shop, bakery, ramen shop, fast food joints.

All the food and drinks I want, I'd buy several copies of each!

"Hehehe..."

Ah, my face must look so stupid right now.

Giggling in the quiet back alleys, as I stuffed everything to my inventory.

[If you could live peacefully like this, what's the point of going to another world?]

"It's exactly 'cuz I went to another world, I could live like this."

[You probably shouldn't be too greedy.]

"I know, but I still have several businesses to settle. I couldn't just leave it like that."

Like returning the Space Magic book and learning to make golems.

There's also tending to my magical space.

All in all, I came to another world to broaden my horizons and experience exciting things.

It's past dinner time when I came back. I sampled so much food, drink, and even liquor from a lot of places.

Maybe due to my poison resistance, I could drink how much I want. If not for the money conversion, I'd probably be in a huge debt right now.

I didn't know where I was, probably far away from home. The day's already pitch dark and I could hear the crickets.

So I just teleported back, after confirming with my System.

It's still dinner time, and Dad still wasn't home.

The table was empty; Mom's currently watching her favorite show in the living room.

"Having fun?"

I nodded.

When she asked the grocery, I just unloaded all of her stuff, which I kept in a separate folder.

The amount piled on the floor, and it made her actually look away from the TV.

"Goodness, you sure got a hell of a skill."

"...but you're really strong, Mom. Even with my powers, I couldn't beat the truck."

"You just lack experience."

"I see."

==

The fridge was so jam-packed right now.

"That's about everything."

She wiped her sweat while stretching around.

"Mom, I've been meaning to ask."

"Go on."

"Why do you want to visit the other world?"

"It's a completely different world, what more to ask?"

That's also my reason—but I'd like to keep it safe.

"If you're away for too long, we will be lonely."

"Oh, you're such a spoiled kid," she ruffled my hair, "Don't worry--"

Not that line!

"Stop, Mom. You'll trigger some weird flags."

"You're such a worrywart, like your Dad." Mom chuckled, "If I'm saying I'm fine—I'd be fine."

She flexed her arms while squatting.

"Yes."

As I was back in my room, I checked my Status.

My Mana's completely filled, which meant—we can transfer right now.

Wouldn't it be a waste if I slept first?

As such, I went straight to my parents' bedroom and knocked several times.

"Mom, we can go right away!"

All I heard were lewd voices and some wet, schlicking sounds.

It's two or more girls, actually.

While it's kinda impolite, I felt so damn sleepy right now.

"Mom, please open up—we can go..."

...and the door sprung open.

She was fully naked, with two vibrators on her. On the screen was lesbian porn—wait, did the other girl have a dick?

"Wait a bit--I'm nearly done."

I wish I didn't see that.

Even if she's hot—I couldn't get turned on.

...and I just figured out her fetish.

No wonder, while looking at Dad--I sometimes felt I got a second Mom.

==

[Your Dad is a Trap? Now that I look at you a bit...]

"No! Don't trigger some unnecessary flags!"

[No wonder your phone and PC had so much yuri and futanari. I guess you could only get turned on when you're both 'girls' eh?]

"...but the Author said I'm not a Trap."

[It doesn't mean you're not a Trap material, though. As you leveled up, I think you got more--]

"Fine, I'll just turn into a bear trap or a deadly poison trap."

[Don't forget your maid outfit.]

"This conversation never happened."

For the record, the System talked like a cute, imouto-type anime girl.

I never knew she's this much of a pervert.

[It takes one, to know one.]

...dang it.


	11. Wack Family

I could still access my magical space on Earth.

The sun was still bright out there, despite the night out.

Since I was a NEET, I slept easier when the sun was up.

"Is this the other world, sonny? It seemed too small and empty."

My mother's wearing her casual getup. It fits enough with the other world's setting. I thought she tried to go in a school uniform and call me Onii-chan.

My mind's too much in the gutter since I wanted to sleep.

Mom's pretty excited at the fresh veggies on the farm.

"It's my magic space."

"Let's see...I guess it'd be convenient to stay here. I could make your meals as well."

"Hehe..."

"...but no, you're an adult. You'll find a good wife soon."

"Me?"

I couldn't even start to imagine that.

"Don't worry about it. Since you're Dad's child, the girls will go lesbian for you."

[Pfft...]

"It doesn't make me happy at all."

[Said someone who has so much yuri on his phone, or was it 'her' phone?]

Ugh...

==

System Imouto, can I teleport inside my magic space?

[Sure, it seems stable enough.]

Can you also store my excess mana?

[Weird you didn't bring it up sooner.]

I forgot, haha.

[Maybe if I call you Onee-chan enough times, you would remember.]

I don't think...it makes me happy.

[How cute.]

From now on, I want all my excess mana to go into my Inventory—I shouldn't waste even a drop.

[Got it.]

==

I waved at Mom.

"We're here."

She's still walking around the space; not entering the house at all.

"I don't feel anything different."

That was before we exited the space and went back to my Inn room.

Through the slightly-open window, I felt a surge of mana in the air, along with several moons and clear, dark skies. I gazed at the medieval-styled building, illuminated by magic tools.

Down below were people of unique races wearing armor, cloth, and robes. They had features that couldn't be found on Earth. Though it's already late out, only a few people strolled at this hour—mostly drunks.

"It was still dark out, so you can sleep at my space."

"The night's where it's at, my boy—or do you prefer daughter?"

"Well...anything is fine."

I don't think I especially want to be a girl.

I guess...it's pretty fun to roleplay as one, but...I don't think I want to wear cute clothes in the open.

I would really hate when dirty and hateful men eyed me. I prefer it if it's just for pure and kind girls who accepted me.

[Ohhh...so sweet, you're pretty much a maiden inside.]

...and you're like a dirty old man.

[I don't think pure girls would like you though.]

I know, right.

"So yeah, I'd be taking a stroll. How long are you staying?"

Mom happened to butt in, while I was drowning in dirty thoughts.

"Ahh...well, I don't know, maybe several days?"

"Got it." she went straight to the window, "Give my regards to the girl you always talk to."

"Ah." me and System Imouto respond at the same time.

With her gone, my desire to sleep escalate.

So I went back to my space, to my comfy spring bed.

When I woke up and went downstairs, I expected an uproar.

...but why?

It was so quiet.

Since I hadn't taken any of their meals for the past two days, I went for an extra. My tray was filled with boiled fries, hard bread, salad, corn soup, milk, and beer.

[MC-chan.]

What? Did my Mom kill some god or anything?

[No, she's currently sleeping in Jail.

She was caught peeking girls at the Bath House, and she complained their boobs were much smaller than your Dad.

...wait, what?]

Yeah, actually...his boobs were really big. I wanted to use a girl pronoun, but Dad felt much happier if you use the male one.

[Was it silicone though?]

I don't know.

It's just, we grew up healthy by drinking Dad's breast milk, instead of Mom.

Hello, System?

Oh well, I'd just finish this meal.

Adding salt really made things better!

[Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if your little sister has a big penis.]

For that one...I'm not sure, I never saw her naked nor asked her.

[You should have asked her sooner! I think I couldn't sleep without knowing the truth.]

Wouldn't it be extremely rude to ask a girl about her penis?

[Why do you have common sense at this point?]

Alright.

Let's go visit Mom and ask her.

[Ah...this is so unreal. Visiting your Mom in jail just to ask whether your little sister has a penis.]

It's your fault for bringing it up, hehe.

If not one, it might be two.


	12. Spirits Within

If Mom was in jail, she must've done it on purpose.

[Why would someone want to be jailed?]

There I saw Mom lying with her stomach exposed—she looked so comfy; painting a stark contrast to the prisoners. I didn't want to look them in the eye or they might do something bad to me.

The torches were still lit, despite morning sun in its gap. The guards slept on the job; her room's unlocked.

"I'm here, Mom."

I lightly tapped on the metal bars, and Mom lazily stretched, got up, and rubbed her eyes.

"I knew you'd came."

I wasn't sure right now--did she get two decades younger?

If I wasn't familiar with her, I would think she's my long-lost big sis.

Though, I'm not here just to ogle her.

"Mom, I wonder if Youko has a penis?"

The weird question didn't make her flinch at all.

"Is that what your friend was curious about?"

"Kinda."

I rubbed my chin; reminiscing the last time I had baths with her.

I couldn't remember what she's like down there,

[Sweet Home, Alabama.]

"If you didn't remember, then it's nothing special. Our Youko is just a normal girl."

[Tch, it's boring.]

Reality is often disappointing.

"Anything you'd like to ask? I don't think you're here just for that."

"Mom, please take better care of yourself. This stone bed is bad for your back. If you can, I hope you stay out of trouble.

I, Dad, and Youko will be upset if something happened."

It might be selfish of me, but I don't want my family to go where I couldn't reach.

While she's exceptionally strong, I wasn't sure anymore, when I saw her like this.

"Right, right—who's the mother here?"

...and she gave me a forehead flick.

"Aww..."

"I know what I'm doing." her hands rested on the bed, and she gazed onto the distance, "It's been such a long time since I slept in prison."

Her hand trailed on the walls, "I'm just going on a nostalgic trip.

You might remember--some of my friends are dead in this kind of room. If I slept here, it's like I'm back to the old days, and felt closer to their souls.

Especially ones already disowned by their family, with no graves to visit. It's kind of sad—like they're fated to be imprisoned forever, don't you think?"

It's one reason why I don't believe in religion anymore.

"Even if it's just a moment, I just want to tell that they're not alone and there's always hope.

...but seeing as I didn't talk to anyone, they must have passed on already, eh?"

"Or they might have become my minions!"

I heard a hollow, dark voice—but there's no such sinister aura.

Also, it's like this space was separated from the outside world. I couldn't even look outside my cell nor hear the other prisoners.

"Huh?"

I rubbed my eyes.

Did I just see a Lich sitting cross-legged in the corner? He waved his bony arms while munching on his Doritas and drinking the Mountain Jew.

I guess undead in this world could still enjoy food and drink.

"Your friend?"

My mom tilted her head.

"No idea."

Judging by his snacks, he probably came from Earth as well.

"In any case, he didn't seem like a bad person."

"You got that right, missy. I just love memes and necromancy. I am none other than the Meme Necromancer."

Oh...

Who the hell was that, again?

"Anyway, since you're a lich—do you have lots of magic books?"

When I returned the Space Magic book, the owner actually didn't have ones about golem making.

Since he's a Necromancer, I could use this chance to learn it. It doesn't matter if I have to settle for an undead maid, as long she's great at chores.

"Tell me a meme first."

"When does the Narwhal bacon?"

"Mid—hey, did you just..."

When I look at Mom's side—she's already gone.

I kinda hate him for butting in, but we're getting somewhere—I will forgive him.

"Fine, I can teach you Necromancy—but if you're my disciple, you might get into lots of trouble."

"Why?"

"I'm actually one of Demon Lord's Four Heavenly Kings."

"Why is it 'Heavenly' if you're the Demon Lord's servant?"

"Can't a Demon Lord be heavenly? Can't an Angel be demonic? Brother, you hurt me—no more."

System Imouto had been silent for a while.

"Couldn't I just borrow your book? If you didn't teach me anything, it's no problem—right? There's also a saying--you can learn a lot from your enemies."

"When was I your enemy?"

"Isn't Demon Lord supposed to be enemy of humanity?"

Meme Necromancer tapped his skull, and his goblin fire blazed:

"Not exactly...but we had been hunted alive by a certain Church.

They had their roots in the dark world—everywhere. Not like they're a match for me though.

Only idiots would assume that undead are always of dark-element, and they're weak to holy element. If you just treat undead like a summoned beast—wouldn't it be interesting to see them grovel at their feet?"

"Oh..did you just--"

"Whoops...sorry, I got to go—the Demon Lord's calling me."

A black cloud enveloped him, and he went poof just like that.

He didn't even lend me a book—what a bastard.

...and thanks to him, I had no idea where Mom went.

==

[To be fair, he never said he'll lend you.

...but I think his comprehension is more than enough.]

Like that would help me summon a cute zombie maid that's great at housework.

[So you're into necrophilia huh...]

...and why did that Meme Necromancer pop here?

He wasn't supposed to be here!

"I have some books regarding golems—but since you love necrophilia..."

"NO!"

"Also, I have to tell you one more thing about the Church.

...they're only after the Undead."

"Say that first, you bastard! You had me worried for nothing."

"How am I supposed to know whether you're dead inside? "

[Well, he got a point.]

"If you decide to form a pact with an undead, you should prepare nonetheless.

Know this, MC-kun. No matter what you do, there's always an entitled snowflake that will be pissed...BUT!"

He held his boney palms and shouted exaggeratedly.

"If they do came at you, it's your chance to slap their face to death—along with their entire family and ancestors."

Oh boy.

I don't want that cultivation bullshit here, please?

"Don't worry though, they can't come at you—if they're already dead."

[Omae wa mou, shindeiru.]

"I'm un-dead, learn the difference."

Right, right.

At this rate, we should make a comedy duo—and I want no part of it.


	13. Nope

[Oh right, I forgot to add this.]

[Learned skill 'Fourth Wall Mastery'!]

I found myself outside of the city walls--I couldn't see nor felt my own body.

A bad-looking guy in black robe greased his palms.

The scene closed on the guy--he's point-blank.

"Found the Necromancer's trace—it lingers on a certain young ma--"

"No."

Before he could finish, I pierced his skull with my spell; doing my best to cloak my mana signature.

He didn't even notice me coming.

[Fourh Wall Mastery has leveled up!]

Wait, what the fuck? Did I just kill a potential enemy on their own screentime? Now that's pretty damn dope.

While I wasn't sure if I could trust that lich—he's much better than this guy.

I couldn't receive experience nor an item drop. I couldn't even put him into my inventory. If the transmutation shop was open, it'd be great.

So...all that's left was destroying the evidence!

I conjured my fire spell. In mere moments, he turned to ashes. I also used wind magic to blew in all directions.

Of course, I still remember to cloak my mana.

==

The scene flashed into a church building. The stale air meant it was deep underground.

It was filled with dim lighting and the followers were stoned as fuck.

It totally gave the unholy cult vibe.

"What, you lost contact with ...? I thought he's supposed to be reporting in the Necromancer's whereabouts."

I censored the name since he's not important to the story.

The one shouting was an old man with myriad wrinkles, you could make a farm outta it. His beard so long, it reached the floor, and his life force felt so damn powerful.

I couldn't even appraise his status—I wasn't confident to instantly kill him.

If I killed his henchmen and destroyed his building; he'd definitely be alert and notice me.

What I need was information. Seeing as they're hiding underground, they might be a wanted organization.

"No, High Priest. Just as he's about to contact us, his channel was cut off; his last location was the forest near ... city."

"This is trouble, send--"

No.

Since that line would signal a scene transition, I decided to just nuke the entire church.

I couldn't see my status screen, nor my mana amount—it's free real estate.

No need to bother concealing them, if they're going to hunt me down—let them come.

...but not without paying the highest price.

I condensed the most mana I could until the High Priest started to panic. That's how I finally felt confident—this is it.

As I detonated it up close—the scene changed into a giant mushroom cloud, on the distance.

There was various notification of [Fourth Wall Mastery] leveling up. One of its abilities were [Plot Armor Breaker].

Some of the villains in the novels were like cockroaches. No matter how hard you tried killing them, they would always rise up, just to make the story unnecessarily long.

Just to make sure, I fired another explosion at the mushroom, to seal their fate, once and for all.

==

I returned to the prison.

It was right after I talked with the Meme Necromancer.

Just to make sure, I erased all of his presence on me. I also persuaded the guard, to let me take the back entrance.

Thank goodness, I didn't see nor felt anyone tailing me.

Sometime later, I heard about a massive twin explosion in some barren land.

I was like, so what?

==

Learned Skills

[Fourth Wall Mastery] => [Plot Armor Breaker]

[I guess the Author wouldn't bother writing about the villains since you'd probably kill them all.]

"Fine by me. I always hated the Church chapters on that novel."

[...but don't you think this will make the story boring?]

"If you don't want me to fire it, don't give me a gun."


	14. Moving On

I aimlessly walked the street, looking for Mom.

It's indeed the other world; it felt nothing like home. I was anxious about my steps, and all the unknown dangers beneath.

As such, I returned to my Inn room and checked the bathroom. My makeshift toilet and the cleaned chamber pot was there.

The towel and bucket were untouched.

Not splashing my skin with water would drove me crazy.

I always took a bath in my magical space. It had a shower, bathtub, and sitting toilet + bidet.

Which made me think—I couldn't fully accustom myself in here. Even with magic, I still prefer the convenience of modern life—thank goodness I had both.

I entered my magical space once more.

This place seemed to be much wider. Lots of vacant space, aside from my house and the farm.

The vegetables were fully ripe. I wasn't sure how many days it was—but it's so damn quick.

With a simple thought, everything's transferred to my inventory.

[Congratulations, the Farming Shop is now open!]

[You can sell your crops for tokens, mainly for the upgrades to your magical space.]

Since my trading skill is maxed, wouldn't I bug the shop, if I sold an item?

The value of my crops was decently high. It's starting to feel that I earned my keep.

I guess it's patched. From now on, I need to be smarter in making money.

Fortunately, the Merchant's Guild was still in my hands.

The most expensive upgrade in the store was space expansion, but it's not necessary for me.

My space could expand when I get stronger. I don't need lots of space for now."

I could also buy tons of exotic furniture. They're good to have, but not essential.  
I wasn't that big on cosmetics.

There were also blueprints for new buildings, which greatly helps. Since I had poor imagination. I need as much reference as I could.

I could buy seeds, and finally—livestock! Most importantly--I could even hire a caretaker.

Even if I destroyed that church, there's no telling whether it's their main base, or there'd be much more of them.

[I'm betting on the latter option.]

"I thought the same."

I'd steer clear from necromancy until I was sure about the risks.

I still need to sell a few more crops, before I could afford the cheapest one.

Their grades range from E-rank to SSS-rank. The stocks are limited as well.

I could only get access to the lower ranks for now, but as I sold more products, I'd eventually unlock everything.

It's similar to the transmutation shop.

"Which reminds me, how's it going?"

[Still under maintenance—you really did them good.]

"Any idea when it'd be open?"

[Probably after you settled things down. Anything else you need to do?]

The caretaker was taken care of.

So all that's left...

"It's transport means. I want a way which lets me travel at my own pace, not catching any attention, and safe."

[Why don't you just use the magical space? You already traveled all the way from Earth, right?]

"I couldn't just teleport to somewhere I hadn't been to. Moreover, what I want is just a slow and steady trip."

[Just imagine that you're in some autopilot car. Your System already has the map and display function, check it out.]

A window opened in front of me.

It was my Inn room.

If I willed for it to keep going, I would go through the walls, and across the street.

The sounds were loud as hell, so I muted it.

I slowly made my space go back. While my Inn room decoration was bland, it eased me up.

[In a way, you could use it as an espionage tool—but it's a double-edged sword. If your enemies can invade here, for example.]

"Not if we arm it to the teeth."

[That's not what I mean.

If enemies made their way here, there is no running away. You must crush them with all you got, even if they're gods—or they'd wreak havoc until your space is completely broken down.

...and the consequences won't be pretty.]

"You forgot something—it is my own space--it can be anything I want to. If there's a field I'd have the most advantage of, it's here."

[I like your way of thinking—but we need sufficient preparation.]

"Staying out of trouble, huh?"

While I was deep in thought, my smartphone rang.

It's from Mom.

She's already back on Earth.

It's not because the other world is boring. Just, she forgot to leave Dad a note—he called the police and caused a stir.

Good grief.

[I like how you didn't even bother, on how your Mom got back.]

==

All that's left is just hitting the library.

Exposition time? Fuck no.

I'll just reveal what I learned when it's convenient.

Now, onto the next town.

Finally, we'd be traveling!

[You'll just be sleeping all day, like a lazy bum though.]

Ain't this your idea, in the first place?

[Ah...]


	15. Yuuya and Sylvie

I saw a boy with spiky black hair and his cat-eared loli.

The boy had decent adventuring gear, with a greatsword on his back and a bandana. He would occasionally tap the air like a madman.

Ah, this guy's from Earth as well.

The little girl had a collar around her neck; her soft white fur and silver hair had no blemish. Her big blue eyes looked up the young boy expectantly.

She wore a thin leather garb; showing off her petite and frail look.

They walked into the Adventurer's Guild; the loli clung tightly to the boy's shoulders.

"Yuuya-kun...I'm scared."

"Don't worry, Sylvie--have some confidence."

She patted the loli's head and softly ruffled her hair.

"Funyann..."

Her ears and tail twitched; she showed a big, angelic smile.

Ah right, it's a similar thing to when I met the Church people.

Though these people didn't seem to be my enemy or my future companions.

As they entered the guild, I saw several suspicious men in the back alleys.

I couldn't hear their conversation clearly, so I amplified it with magic.

"HAHA! LET'S KIDNAP THAT BEASTKIN GIRL AND SELL HER TO THE SLAVE MARKET."

...but apparently, I set it too loud, which got them arrested for public disturbance.

"I don't know people could talk so loudly. Do they think they're Dragonb*rn or something?"

"Awawawa..."

Yuuya covered his ears from way back, while Sylvie had swirlies on her eyes; she looked like she's about to trip if the boy didn't support her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes..."

==

"Excuse me, we'd like to register as Adventurers."

The guild's filled with tough-looking people.

The receptionist happened to be one of these macho uncles as well.

"State your name and class." his hoarse, heavy voice seemed to fill the pair's eardrums, causing both to tremble.

"Yuuya, Warrior."

"Sylvie, Hero."

"Puff!"

The adventurers spat their drinks, and the receptionist shook his head.

"Please don't lie. I don't think such a little girl can be a Hero."

What the fuck? I guess the [Hero] class wasn't that uncommon?

"B-but...I'm really..."

The cat loli went all fidgety, and tears start to pour from her eyes.

"She's saying the truth, uncle. If you want, you can use [Appraisal] on her."

"Don't you think I wouldn't know about [Fake Status]?" ignoring the loli's cries, the receptionist gave them a stern look, "If you said once more that she's a [Hero], I'm going to kick you both."

"Ahaha...I guess we didn't have any choice—we're low on cash."

Yuuya rubbed the back of his hair and sighed several times.

"Yuuya, Hero..."

"Sylvie, H-he...Warrior."

"Now that's more like it, welcome to the Adventurer's Guild. Courageous young people are welcome."

It was followed by merry clapping from the adventurers.

"Hey, what's with that sour look?" the receptionist uncle pouted; it's strangely adorable.

"N-nothing..."

That uncle started to explain the basics of the Adventurer's Guild.

You'll start at F-rank. It limits you to take Quests according to your rank.

You can rank up by submitting monster drops and completing Quests.

The higher their rank, the better the reward, and the faster you will rank up.

A small percentage of the total reward will go towards the guild. They call it the 'commission fee'.

The pair thanked this uncle and went to the request board.

From gathering various materials, sewer subjugation, and dungeon exploration.

"Yuuya-kun, it's my fault. If I didn't eat too many sweets, we can have enough for the night."

"Don't worry, we can earn a lot of money. What do you think is a good quest?"

"The ones for F-ranks aren't good. It takes too much time to gather herb, umu."

One of the adventurers overheard their conversation and laughed, "Don't you think about going to the dungeons, unless you have a death wish,:

"Hey, what's your..."

Before Yuuya finished, the muscular guy cried, "I went there with my best buddies...and they...they...uwaaaaaaaah!"

The bearded man beside him patted his shoulders, "There, there..." and he turned at the pair, "On the contrary, I commend you to show off if you had the ability."

Yuuya and Sylvie end up swallowing their saliva.

She whispered at the tall boy, "On second thought, let's just gather herbs."

==

Due to Sylvie's terrible sense of direction, they end up at the dungeon's entrance anyway.

"Waaah...Yuuya-kun, what should we do?"

"Let's clear the dungeon."

"Nn!"

As the pair entered, they were immediately ambushed by a horde of goblins.

Yuuya wielded his greatsword like a rifle.

Laser beams shoot outta his blade; quickly reducing the goblins to light particles.

The rest of the goblins died from shock, as Sylvie pulled a two-meter stick from her crotch.

To make a long story short, they slaughtered the entire dungeon, with incredible gains.

"I don't know someone's mouth could fall that low, it's just like On* Piec*."

==

It's already dark when they gained lots of money.

They booked a room with two single beds.

"Good night, Yuuya-kun."

"You too..."

The sounds of crickets filled the night; both of them were restless.

"Hey, Sylvie...why do we need so much money?"

"So Yuuya-kun can return to Earth. Unlike me, Yuuya-kun has a family waiting at home. I want to save enough, so I can come along."

Aww...

"To be honest, I missed Earth...but I'm not lonely anymore. If you kept smiling for me, I believe I can do anything.

Let's do our best in this world, okay?"

"If Yuuya-kun said so..."

I was torn between sending them to Earth.

So I tried asking them.

...but they're already fast asleep—they look tired as hell.

Oh well.

I think we'll meet again, sooner or later.

Otherwise, the author won't bother adding them to the story.

==

I guess I was wrong, after all.

Some main characters can be pretty nice, or at least decent.

While not everyone will be good, I'm grateful, that I raised flags with the good ones.

...and I was wondering—if I'm the main character, what kind am I?

[You are you, isn't that enough?]

You can't be truer than that, System Imouto.

Alright, I'm going to do my best, as well.


	16. Travel Ideas

It was my last day in this town.

During my stay, I was so damn paranoid.

What if there's someone strong enough that's out for my blood?

Like many Isekai protagonists, I was too hung up on getting stronger, I couldn't even enjoy the world.

[You don't look scared to me.]

I had my last breakfast on the ground floor. As the Innkeeper's daughter brought my dishes, I gave her a small tip.

"Do you know some adventurer named Yuuya and Sylvie?"

I didn't know which town it was.

Isekai towns all look the same to me.

It was all about whose Author had the worst naming sense.

"Hmm...never heard of them, big brother."

I thanked her and this time. Her back looked kinda lonely since I'd be checking out soon.

If Yuuya and Sylvie were in this town, or in nearby ones, rumors might come quickly. Their achievements were 'explosive', after all.

If they're here, I plan to extend my stay for several days—but whatever—I'm not that desperate for companions.

Anyway, I tried enjoying the dish without 'seasoning'.

The bread was quite tasteless and hard, but it tasted alright when I dipped in the soup.

I didn't put sugar, grape extract, or coffee on my ale. While it's mostly like water, the slightly bitter taste, with a tint of heat on my cheeks--it's quite decent.

Come to think of it, I barely even cooked on my own.

When I needed meals, I would just microwave the convenience store bento from my inventory. As usual, food from Earth came with powerful buffs, but since I rarely fought—I just eat at the Inn or buy some snacks from the street stalls.

I would personally prepare the food at night when most establishments were closed.

Even the red-light district wouldn't take customers past a certain hour. Which reminds me, I was too busy—I didn't even have time to visit.

The only open ones were the Church of Light, in case of emergency patients.

Their priests would always be on standby.

When I glanced at them; they weren't even similar in attire, to ones trying to hunt me down.

It didn't mean I will ask their views about necromancy.

Finishing my meal, I brought my tray to the bar

The Innkeeper piled everything on the kitchen hatch, before he turned at me, hoarse and loud:

"Finally checking out, eh?"

"Pops, do you know any places worth visiting?"

"Depends on your business, lad."

While I wanted to get stronger to survive, I wanted to enjoy the other world as well.

I cooped myself in the magical space for too long. The modern atmosphere wasn't much different than Earth, so yeah.

"Someplace good to relax and have fun. I prefer the safe ones."

"Anywhere can do, long as it's peaceful. If you want, just buy a house and settle down 'ere. I'll give a discount if you kept coming."

"Well, I kinda want to travel the world and see some new things. Maybe visit the hometown of the other races. I'd like to see their difference in style and way of life."

While this place had a plethora of races, it's still a human city I was all too familiar with.

"Lad, about that—you understand about how other races view us? Some are amicable, while others are hostile. Even the same race can be divided, between their ethnics.

Not all human cities are hospitable either; some were homes to nefarious bunches you'd rather stay away from.

Lots of place ta' visit, but know yer limits. In times like these, having correct info will save yer life."

"Hmm..."

The Innkeeper poured me a cup of ale, "A drink?"

"Go on."

At that moment, I notice several people joining this discussion.

One of them had a dog face—I guess they're kobolds or beastmen? Not sure. For the others.

There were beastmen with a human face as well.

I saw some elves and dwarf within my sight, but they're too common to interest me.

The dog person spoke, "I happen to travel the world. Not that easy or safe, but it's quite worth it. Best to do so in peaceful times like these."

While the Elf and Dwarf described their hometown to me.

They're quite divided in their opinion with humans, but they gave several cities I could visit.

You could usually find Elven cities blending with nature, like ones in the middle of the forest, with their elevated treehouses and isolationist nature.

They don't usually welcome Humans; most need to prove themselves to get a 'temporary permit'. If they're hidden enough, they might even attack intruders on sight, including fellow Elves.

The ones open to visit usually didn't go in too deep, like, you could enter them through the main road. They're built similar to human cities, aside from their Elven architecture--you wouldn't see anything like coal or pollution.

Hearing that line made the Dwarf frown.

For the traditional Dwarven cities, they would build them on caverns and mountains.

They were pretty common in popular passes. It's a welcoming rest area, where you can pay a toll to go on, or stop by, enjoying your stay.

In the cities, you could enjoy and even purchase exotic machinery, or in their term, Makina.

...but the Elven buddy cut him off before he would rattle long-windedly about the rumbles of machinery triumph.

The other nice thing about Dwarven cities was their alcohol, but Elven alcohol was also great.

In short, Elves would gather with the forest, while Dwarves went for the mountains.

I enjoyed listening to their conversation; they also unpacked and left the Inn.

While I got tons of info, it just made me even more confused about where to go.

To get stronger, I should eventually visit the Magic Academies.

One of them was even built around the World Tree, Yggdrassil University if I heard right.

They're not the forefront when it comes to Space Magic though.

From the books, there was a legend of a 'hidden academy'.

They exist in a separate magical space, roaming the entire world. Once in a blue moon, they would show itself to the world.

...but their whereabouts were mostly unknown.

Oh well, I'd just explore with my gut. If I'm lucky, I might encounter this 'academy.

With my old, trusty bag and Isekai-style clothes, I made my way to the gate, handing over the permit.

Some gates were for people traveling on foot, but most came here via carriages.

I was the type who couldn't stand them.

If I were to go for days, I'd like to sleep in a nice bed, in my magical space.

While I was deep in my thought, I already walked far into the forest.

...and this person popped again.

"Yo."

The Meme Necromancer.

From his blazing goblin fire--we had a lot to catch up.


	17. Dead Meme

"So yeah, when I'm done with Demon Lord, I tried looking up my minions..."

Meme Necromancer heaved a sigh.

"Well, it can be a good thing—they'd probably died peacefully."

He nodded.

"Plus, they might be visiting us at Obon every year. We might have to prepare an orgy."

[...]

"What," his goblin fire dimmed, "Are you for real?"

"I'm joking."

"I can't be sure anymore," his arms crossed, "I lost count how many necromancers started 'cuz they want to fuck dead bodies."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You don't, it's common sense. Even I, who dabbled for so long, started to find dead bodies attractive—for research, I mean."

"Oh."

Well, I believed in him. After all, Liches had no sexual desire.

He took a water canteen from his robe and gulped a mouthful.

It's just now, I realized—he still had a tongue.

[Don't be surprised, he drank Mountain Jew and ate Doritas some time ago.]

Ah, I completely forgot.

"Ahh...that hits the spot!" he wiped the water from his bony chin and cheeks, "Now, where was I again?"

He put back his canteen and pulled a creepy-looking book with a skull cover, similar to a Metal album.

"Anyway, here's my favorite book for Necromancy. I'm in a FANTASTIC mood since the Church bastards bit De_Dust."

"Does it let me listen to Death Metal?"

This was a fantasy world, after all. How boring it would be if you could only read a book—not eat it, drink it, or listen to music with it?

"You can flip papers with ASMR quality. Trust me, it can't get any more natural than that."

It's true, the sound of flipping books was great, especially if you could instantly learn anything.

Since I was really bored, there's no harm to learn something new. The Church already wanted to hunt me down--it couldn't get any worse.

As I flipped through the entire book, a message box popped in front of me.

[Necromancy.

Utilize the undead to do your bidding.

Normally, it's a branch of Dark Magic that's weak to Light and Fire. Necromancy had a rapid decline for hundreds of years, due to so many ways of countering the undead.]

"This book will help you summon skeletons that has no elemental weakness, and cannot be hard-countered by Holy magic. I think it's pretty balanced, for how these dirty priests would run amok."

"Aren't undead immune to status ailments, and strong versus dark magic? Not to mention, they're immortal. You can spam them endlessly."

"The tactic won't work with my Necromancy. For now, try to summon an undead, anything you like will do."

Something's a bit off here.

"Why do we have this conversation in the open? What if someone's spying on us?"

"Rest easy. I won't come unprepared."

"Last time you did that, the Church tried to hunt me down."

"Huh?" Meme Necromancer tilted his head, "How can they do so if they're already dead?"

"Necromancy."

His eye sockets narrowed.

"I don't think it will work," he took his staff and thumped it several times, "Their general concept is based upon the fear of death, but to us, it's just a pounding sensation in the ass."

[Ahahaha...this guy...]

I know, right.

"That aside, can you try to summon your undead already? I will give you constructive criticism."

"Anything will do?"

"A lot of Necromancer said skeletons are the easiest, but it's not necessarily true. Since you're human, you can try something much closer to yourselves, like zombies or wraiths.

I feel that your mana capacity is impressive—you can go straight to Elder Vampires, Bone Dragon, or even a Lich. High-level undead is easier to get along with, and they will greatly help you train the low-level ones. You can't manage everything on your own. A magical space is also necessary if you want to develop them further."

"Are magical spaces that common?"

"Possessing one is necessary to be my disciple. I think you'll have an easy time. Anyway, enough chat—let's begin."

As I tried to focus, a Quest Box appeared in front of me.

Basically, I need to impress the Meme Necromancer.

The better his evaluation, the bigger will my reward be.

I pointed on the ground, and a pentagram appeared, followed by an accented voice with a broken English.

"If Hitler can do Necromancy, so can you."

What the fuck?

[My sides...]

Of all the dead things I could summon, it had to be a dead meme? This one's old as fuck.

Meme Necromancer's eyesocket furrowed further.

"Thanks, I hate it. I will give an A+."

With a deadpan expression and dim goblin fire, he held the A+ sign.

The Meme Necromancer immediately turned his back and walked away. The next moment, he was nowhere to be found.

[Quest Completed!

Evaluation: A+]

[Calculating rewards...]

[Learned Skill 'Dead Meme'!]

I had the feeling this skill will be overpowered as hell, especially when I have to fight gods.

This meme, in particular...

By the time it mentioned Hitler, all discussions will be over right away. No wonder the Meme Necromancer instantly yeeted.

While it was said, those who mentioned Hitler first will lose the argument, I don't care.

If I could quickly shut up annoying people, I may lose the battle, but I'll win the war.

Next time people asked if I believe in God, like those religious scams, I will just compare them to Hitler.

==

Learned Skills:

Dead Meme.

[MC-kun, are you okay with this?]

"Why would I expect anything more than a meme?"

[Doesn't that also make YOU the Meme Necromancer?]

Hmm...the moniker's quite a mouthful.

"How should I call him, then?"

[Weegee.]

"Ah ha ha...dang it."

I'm not sure if I could unhear that nick...


	18. Enter the Dragon

I tried summoning undead several times in my magical space. The only thing that would appear were Dead Memes.

...but the classification of Dead Meme itself was pretty subjective.

If people kept using an old meme, I wasn't sure if it's really dead—like the Admiral who knew something was a trap.

When I tried using one like Trollface, it worked.

...but even if it's a popular meme like Stonks, it would work!

I guess I would have a good leeway, since not many people use memes in this world, as far as I know.

Although the usage of memes will only take effect if you knew how to time it well.

Like, if you made a killing in your transaction with Max level [Trading] skill, and immediately use Stonks, it will induce a [Critical Effect], which greatly increase the transaction value.

While the memes with a negative vibe might help to reduce the loss, like Not Stonks--though I hadn't tried it yet.

...and yeah, there's a reduced effect if you reuse the meme in a short period.

It was an all-purpose trump card, just as expected.

I like this skill since it pushed me to be creative.

==

I think the housekeeper can be put aside. I can make my own food and clean up with magic.

It's more important to get a helper that will constantly observe the space, and things outside. Better yet, if it can alert me on important things, like a potential threat or something hidden.

The next thing was getting more info about the Gods. They might be my greatest hindrance, once I got strong enough.

They might be onto me since I could bypass their intervention with [Plot Armor Breaker]. While it's good to deal with main characters and annoying villains, it's a double-edged sword.

"System Imouto—do you have any leads?"

[We need to make friends with the good main characters. They at least have a god with them. You can try going to cities where Yuuya and Sylvie might be.

Try to purchase the Scouter and let it alert you when it spots the main characters. We can decide the rest later.]

It might be hard if the main character was a mob.

[Even mob protagonists have its own cliches, don't worry about it.]

"In any case, I was wondering—if the Scouter exists, don't you think it'd be as easy to spy on us?"

[That's also why I recommend you to buy them. It doubles as a counter-intelligence module.]

"They're all blueprints, instead of the finished product. In the end, I have to craft everything from scratch?"

[It will accustom better to your mana and magical space. There's also less to none ways to tamper with.]

"No wonder Weegee told me I need enormous mana. Owning a magical space isn't simple."

[That is why, when you encounter one with such spying ability, you need to be on full alert.

...but if they're beyond your ability, remember the secret technique.]

Running away, huh.

"But you said if they invaded my magical space, it might be my last stand."

[What I mean--you just need to teleport straight to Earth before they space lock it. Given your current strength you have a lot of windows.]

Oh right, Mom can protect me over there.

"I feel that I prepared so much for an anti-climax."

[The biggest part of War is preparation. The more meticulous you get, the better.]

To save time, I designate the next point to the nearest city.

I set it as slow as a regular carriage—it will take a day or two.

"System Imouto, is it okay if I purchased the highest grade Scouter I can afford?"

I got tons of extra currency from selling crops and doing Stonks.

The best I could afford was around B grade.

[Hmm...B-grade should be enough to find the Hidden Space Academy.

You should stick with the lowest grade for now and fulfill the basic modules. Even if you find them, don't expect hospitality. It may even backfire.

They most likely hid for a reason. We need more information, especially about their motives.]

I wanted to check how many modules were available.

The [Scouter], for reconnaissance and counter-intelligence.

The [Guardian], for defensive mechanics; can also heal the space from damages.

The [Servant], to organize and manage the inhabitants. It also gives 'service' to the master.

The [Rogue] module, for Stealth.

There's a [Dragon] module as well.

[Dragons will live in your space. Grant blessings to allies, and curse your enemies.]

It's only available at A-rank and above.

It's extremely expensive.

[Oh, the Dragon module. Wait...GET THAT ASAP! S-rank at minimum. I think we can stand a chance against the Gods.]

"I don't even have enough money for..."

[Didn't I tell you the transmutation shop is already open? Take a look at how many points you have.]

"No, you didn't. oh..."

That's crazy—there's so much from just selling sewage.

[Luckily, they still hadn't found our bug.]

I converted the transmutation points to the shop currency.

My [Trading] skill triggered again, causing the points to 'explode'.

"Crazy...it was more enough for A-rank Dragon."

Still wasn't enough for S-rank though.

[I will lend you the extra. You can pay it back any time, no interest. Make sure you buy the S-rank module!]

[Received ... shop points!]

"Wait, isn't this illegal?"

[I already helped you max the trading skill, it's too late. Might as well let it crash and burn.]

"I'm not sure if I also have enough mana to craft this blueprint."

[Who do you think I am? I already stored all your excess mana. Just use your magician gear and buy tons of potions.]

"Wait a minute--does that mean I have to deal with Dragon module users?"

[I don't think just anyone can afford this feature.

If they're powerful enough, other gods will keep them in check. Unless you were stupid and provoked the majority, we'll be fine.]

==

[Purchase completed!]

[Due to your max-level trading skill, the total cost is reduced.]

"Ah..."

I still had enough to buy B-rank modules for [Scouter], [Guardian], and [Servant].

...but System Imouto told me to focus on the [Dragon] module.

Using my [Trading] hax, I converted everything back to the transmutation points, and bought tons of [Pure Ether], since it will recover a percentage of my mana, instead of a fixed amount.

It seems to be an exceptionally strong liquid, so I refrain from drinking it directly. Instead just [Use] it from my Inventory.

I continued to pour forth my Mana while listening to System Imouto's instruction.

[Don't think, imagine.]

Fuck.

How was it supposed to give me an idea?

Eventually, I just chill, as I continue using the potion, my excess mana, and listening to elevator music on my phone.

The enormous condensed mana turned into a human-shaped pair.

Two lolis appeared in front of me. Both had long hair, horns, flat chest, scaly tail, and wings They dressed like magical girls.

One had pink hair and full of energy.

The other had blue hair, kinda quiet, and seem dependable.

The pink one shouted, "Daddy!" while charging at me with excited >_< eyes.

While the blue one spoke politely, "Father," she quickly did a shunpo and halted the pink one's charge, causing her to fell on the ground with swirly eyes.

The blue one couldn't keep her balance and fell in a lighter thud.

The deafening impact reminded me of how powerful these lolis were.

[Just give them a name.]

"Alright you two, please calm down."

"Awawa..." (pink loli)

"Yes..." (blue loli)

I pointed at the pink one, "Your name will be Rosa," and at the blue one, "Your name is Lili."

They looked so similar to the characters from my games, so yeah.

"Yay, Daddy...the name's so kawaii..."

"Thank you, Father."

[S-rank Dragon Module – Twin Dragons – Rosa + Lili activated!]

[Due to your incredible aptitude, this module is now S+ rank]

[Rosa's Blessing: increase the growth rate of idols, sweets, plush animals, toys—anything Rosa deems fun, yahoo.]

[Lili's Blessing: greatly increase durability and recovery rate of the magical space.]

Wait a minute...

[Rosa's Curse: greatly decrease the Fun of enemies. They'll be too bored to fight, haha.]

[Lili's Curse: enemies' barriers will be much easier to break.]

"Hmm..."

Rosa has a godlike offense, while Lili has an impregnable defense. If those two could work together...

"Lili..."

"Sis?"

With a wide smile, Rosa spread her arms wide.

"Lili is so cute, I love Lili..."

It caused her to blush hard, "Sis, we can't—we're both girls."

Rosa stopped on her track; tilting her head, "Hmm? I love you 'cuz we're sisters though."

"Mou, you idiot!"

Veins started popping and she chased after Rosa, who already ran far away.

"C'mon...is it wrong to love my cute sister?'

"If you love me like that, say it straight!"

"Lili is cute."

"Uuu..." she stopped; with face getting redder than ever, "I'll forgive you if you hug me."

"I want to hug Lili as well..."

"Mmm..."

"Haha..."

They wrapped arms around each other, not minding me at all.

[I think you've outdone yourself this time, splendid.]

"Lili, what's wrong if we're both girls?"

"Umm...Father might get angry...if we, you know, get too close."

Rosa made a cute pout, while Lili looked rather down.

"Sigh...I don't mind if you act all chummy. Just keep it in moderation when we're outside."

"Nn!" Rosa's eyes lit up, but Lili's sad look still didn't cease.

"Father...what if we can't continue the bloodline?"

"It doesn't matter, I want both of you to be happy. You two are just born--just take it easy."

"Daddy's right. Lili, let's play."

"Mmm..."

It's quite heartwarming to see them have fun.

...but seeing they're dragons--how much would they ate>

==

Lili took up the cooking duty.

She's so quick to pick up the basics, and prepared curry rice.

It was so tasty, I kept asking for seconds.

"Ah ha ha, Daddy is such a glutton."

"Please don't eat too much. You'll get fat, Father."

"If your cooking isn't so good, I wouldn't ask for more!"

"No fair, Lili—I want more."

"Father, stop being a bad influence on Sis."

"You know, I ate a lot since I'm an adult. If you grew up more, you'll eat more too."

"Be sure to exercise more."

"M'kay."

Lili became more like a parent than I was.

I wonder how will my family react when I told them I had two kids?

I wasn't even married, haha...

My first day with the twins quickly came to an end. They slept together in their new room, on the newly built second floor--complete with their own PC.

I sunk myself in my own bed, and I thought.

Does the twins really need a mother? I will only get together with someone who shares mutual love and will care about my daughters.

...but normally, parents aren't something you get to choose.

That's why I'm grateful, that I was born to this family.

I hope they're doing well on Earth; I will try to visit more often.


	19. A Peaceful Start

"Father, please wake up."

The blue-haired loli with a calm face yanked my blankets open and drew the curtains.

As sunlight encroached me, I want to snuggle on my pillows, but she took them as well.

"Why? I'm so tired after spending so much mana, so you girls can be born. Let me sleep for today, at least."

"No can do, Father. It stinks—just how long since the last time you cleaned it?"

Let me think.

"I forgot, but it's just a few days since I made this world."

Lili shook her head, "While you're strong, it never hurts to live in a clean and tidy place, besides...look at the living room's PC."

"Alright."

Stepping down the bed, she took the bedcovers and lifted the entire mattress with one hand.

As expected of a dragon.

I made the doors wide enough, so she could easily stroll through, and air the stuff outside.

"Father, can you carry the pillows?"

I nodded.

Going through the living room, Rosa's watching her favorite anime on TV.

"Morning, Daddy."

"Morning."

I saw a big, majestic city in the living room's PC, and there wasn't any sign of movement.

It was from a software called [Dragon Eye], which was equivalent to a high-tier recon module--when I look at its info.

Due to the warm smell of a ham sandwich and milk, my pace slowed down.

Lili made a slight smile and went ahead.

Taking in the morning sunlight directly, it filled me with so much energy, I felt it's a good time to go for a run.

There wouldn't be any rain, since the crops didn't need them to grow. I wasn't fond of rainy days either.

I placed them into the drying racks and Lili gave me a thumbs up, and she went 'fumu'.

It's good to have light exercise before a meal.

I made a lap around my magical space. It seemed a lot more spacious than yesterday.

There's a paved road on the outskirts of my house and the farmland. The skies were so blue; the fresh air made me want to wear loose clothing and practice Tai Chi.

While I could breeze past the entire round, I decide to just take it easy. Especially when I checked System Imouto's message this morning.

[I'd be looking up stuff concerning Gods. Just take your time, and try not to cause trouble—unless you want to.]

There were lots of empty lands; now filled with big and tall trees.

The vast expanse of grasses never seemed as verdant.

...but soon enough, I got bored and went back.

Checking the farmlands, new stuff was growing.

Apparently, you could also grow meat in here.

One tree, in particular, had shiny beef on its branch.

[Wagyu Beef A1 Tree]

"Err..."

[Dodo Egg Tree]

The other had an egg as big as a human head.

[Bacon Tree]

The strips were as long as a child's arm.

[Premium Toast Tree]

...this one's a loaf of bread at normal size, but there's something incredibly fluffy and mouth-watering about the texture.

It felt weird as hell, seeing your usual tree, with this stuff dangling from its branches.

To top it off, they're actually edible and clean straight off the bat. There's the crispy and oily texture--uncooked--though it didn't feel greasy.

It had a taste of vegetable oil and spices as well. Despite being meat, it's like eating a nutritious vegan meal.

Even the Dodo Egg. As soon I cracked open the shell, instead of the usual yolk, it's already solid and chewy.

8My taste buds savored the thick texture, as the sweet, crispy yolk, and the mayonnaise-like taste flood in.

Each product can be sold at high prices at the Farming Shop, especially the beef.

Since I didn't grow them, I'd ask Rosa and Lili first.

It'd be nice to pay back System Imouto ASAP.

While I was a bit full from sampling the 'fruits', I still had enough for Lili's meal.

"Thanks for the food."

I clasped my hands; moving my fork and knife. Rosa's nomming her star-shaped cereal, while Lili's drinking green tea, and dipping biscuits into it.

She also poured two more cups, "It's matcha milk, please try."

"Yay, thankies." Rosa's eyes sparkled

My mouth's filled with Lili's sandwiches, so I was unable to reply.

I simply moved my pot closer, but the blue loli went, "Ehehe," right away.

Indeed, she already became the 'parent' since day one; spoiling her two kids.

Lili nudged the tray of biscuits into the center, so everyone could try.

Rosa dipped the biscuit to her cereal once and tried it again on the matcha. In the end, she just mixed it together, causing Lili to frown.

"Mou..."

"Lili's so cute when angry--arere?" Rosa tilted her head for a bit and nudged her face onto Lili before she's able to react.

From my angle, two of them appear to be kissing on the lips.

It took a few seconds, which seem to last for eternity, before Rosa pulled out, licking her lips blissfully, "Lili has a biscuit crumb."

The blue loli's face was red like a tomato, and she muttered, "B-baka..." and in a lower voice, "...but I didn't dislike it."

"Hee..." Rosa began to get smug, "Is Lili...horny?"

"No! I swear, not!"

While she tried her best to cover her face, Rosa went to her ears and whispered in a velvety voice, "I. Love. You."

Her smug look grew even bigger, though she didn't notice Lili turning her face; pressing her lips against her sister's, wrapping her thin arms, around the pink loli's petite body.

Rosa replied with muffled moans, and faint slurping noise echoed throughout the room.

Lili's eyelids shut, and Rosa muffled in a higher pitch.

They stayed like that for several seconds. When they pulled out, there's a trail of saliva, and they're panting heavily.

Good grief, these girls.

As a fan of yuri, I could only give them a thumbs up—no make that two if using my foot didn't count.

...but at this rate, they might grow even more shameless.

"You two, I'm here...you know? If you want to do this, please go to your rooms."

Both lolis tilted their head.

"...but Daddy didn't really look like a man, so..."

"Yes, if Father wore cute clothes, ahem..."

Lili coughed before she went deeper on the rabbit hole.

Ah, I get it.

It's all System Imouto's influence.

When I looked in the mirror, I understood why.

I took over my Dad, and he's a beautiful girl.

Of course, I didn't get his natural boobs.

...but normally, if I looked cute, why didn't I put girl's clothes and fapped in front of the mirror?

It's probably due to my skills.

[Charm Concealment – EX

For most people, the effect of your looks is greatly diminished, especially for men.

It was less effective on women, especially if they love girls or cute femboys.

It's also less effective, the higher their charm, regardless of gender.]

While it seemed like a curse, it's great for me, since I didn't like the attention that much.

I wasn't sure, but think I don't like men. I wasn't turned on, even if I saw cross-dressing guys, no matter how cute they were--much less regular or muscle guys.

That's why, when I looked at myself, I only got slightly excited.

I love women. Even if they had a dick, if they look cute and had a nice body, I'd still get aroused.

Well, I might get horny at myself, if I became a girl, but I have no plans for that.

==

Finishing our meal, we washed the dishes separately.

While I could just use magic for it, manually doing so was still good.

All of us were free, that morning.

I gazed at the monitor and the recording from yesterday. Several carriages would pass by, every now and then.

Even during night time, you could enter.

"Girls, do you want to explore the city?"

I sat down on the sofa, and Rosa's still glued to the TV, not paying any interest, "I wanna stay home, the city doesn't look fun."

Lili shook her head, "We're just born yesterday, so there's not much we knew about the world and its common sense. It also takes time to grasp our powers.

I'm afraid we will trouble Father..."

I rubbed the back of my head.

The girls got a point.

While they're strong, with incredible potential—they barely touched the basics.

I would worry about them when they're off without my knowing.

"Still, you girls gotta learn at your own pace, alright? Find something that best suits you, and have fun."

"Nn!" they nod in unison.

Before I left, I told them about the weird trees on the farm.

Since the products would go for a high price, I asked if it's okay to sell them.

I was going to use the profits to arm everyone and this space to the teeth. Step-by-step, one at a time.

They had looks of concern; even Rosa, who're so nonchalant so far.

"To tell you the truth—the Gods might be unto me, and I wasn't sure if I'm strong enough to deal with them. I knew nothing about them, and it made me so scared...

The reason you girls were born—I'm afraid, I'd be too weak if they decide to invade this place. So..."

Before I could finish, Lili patted my shoulders.

"We know."

"Daddy is weak."

I couldn't even get mad at that.

==

In the end, I decided to wait, until System Imouto finished gathering information.

...and several days passed like that.

I would spend time getting along with Rosa and Lili, sharing our hobbies, having fun, and imparting my experience of using magic.

I would also practice my fighting skills, although I couldn't spar with them.

Despite being so strong, they're cute, innocent little girls. I couldn't even get myself to hit them.

They also hesitated to hit me, since I look so frail and weak.

...but by seeing how they spar with each other, it seemed my comprehension of battle improved. I was more confident to defend myself, even if I couldn't use magic.

With our combined effort, the trees started to fill the land, mostly high-quality products like Beef Tree.

We kept various trees in a small amount, to broaden our diet.

The plants for personal use were in our home, while the rest would be sold.

Most of the profits would go to upgrading.

The space looked pretty secure and durable, it's like I could trust it to protect my life. I wanted to focus on how to stalemate the strongest God, without incurring any loss.

If it ended up killing them, other Gods might start ganging up.

...and I don't want that.

Hmm...wait a minute, why did I take so long?

If Dragon's Eye were equivalent to a high-tier reconnaissance module, and it's overkill for this world (according to System Imouto), couldn't I spy on the Gods directly?

Rosa, Lili, and I went in front of the living room PC and finally got to use the feature.

The twins were busy playing with each other, even the level-headed Lili facepalmed.

...and seeing what came up, we slumped on the floor in relief.

"To think, the Gods couldn't even touch us, in the first place..."

...or like, Gods of this world were weaker than we thought?

From stats and skills alone, I could slaughter the lower-ranking ones with ease, but I wouldn't be so confident, since they had lots of experience and schemes. Right now, none of them seem to be onto me, and I could rest easy, as long I didn't deliberately cause trouble.

...but if they think, they could saunter as they like in our space—it'd be their worst nightmare.

Although our efforts seem like a waste, I wouldn't be as confident a few days back. If I spied on them, there might be a serious backlash.

I also found the location of the Hidden Space Academy and the city where Yuuya and Sylvie stayed.

Since I was no longer in danger, there's no rush.

Yuuya and Sylvie were doing well. If nothing's amiss, I'd be able to meet them on Earth soon.

Though it'd be awkward--if I came on them so suddenly.

"Phew..."

I stood up and stretched my limbs. It's so good, knowing I could rest easy.

I prepared the necessary items and stashed them in my Inventory.

Mostly consumables like Pure Ether, which would restore my mana by percentage.

Since my current mana and health were enormous, most potions wouldn't be effective. Though it makes the percentage regen skill and gears so overpowered.

Rosa and Lili were still lazy to go out, but it's nice, they're no longer worried.

I finally put my Isekai-style clothes and went out, the next morning.

I found myself in the nearby forest, where no one's looking.

Just while I was wondering, why System Imouto took so long...

[Waaaaaaaaaah! MC-kun, you dummy! Idiot!]

Turns out, my preparations were too well-done, a higher entity like her couldn't even get in.

Good grief...

I walked into the city as usual.

I was curious, what kind of things would I experience, this time?

==

Since System Imouto was recovering from her breakdown, there'd be no more fourth wall breaks today.

So let's just summarize the new skill.

[Charm Concealment – EX

Highly effective on men.  
Less effective on girls, especially yuri and trap lovers.

Less effective on those with high Charm.]


	20. Evasion Healer

So yeah, about this town—I could say, it's pretty big—even more than my previous.

A lot of different races walked down the street: beastmen, elves, dwarves, orcs, and humans.

Its roads were neatly paved with clean air; the surge of mana made it rather sweet, I felt like taking deep breaths each time to savor it.

Horse carriages were galloping over, along with several flying creatures; mostly birds, and a few wyverns.

Despite that, it's not big of a deal to traverse on foot. Before long, I saw a giant, towering building. It had the crest of a sword against a shield—the Adventurer's Guild.

Beneath the Guild, was an enormous dungeon.

To this point, no one had ever reached the bottom-most part.

With no more risk to my life, I decided to enjoy my Isekai experience, at my own pace.

One of the joys of Isekai was becoming an adventurer and finding nice companions.

I actually didn't care if they're a guy or girl, as long they're trustworthy.

...but if they had a romantic interest on me, to the point of annoying and forceful, I'd cut them off.

[What about me?]

You're pretty cool, I guess.

System Imouto was a lot quieter than usual, but it's a good change of pace.

Well, I wasn't in a rush, so I booked the Inn near the guild and ordered the better rooms on the second floor. Since there's a labyrinth around, with several dungeons, I might stay around a month.

Just to be safe, I booked for a week—and would extend it later.

I wasn't in the mood to eat there, due to the presence of many loud, muscular adventurers.

Despite that, I could tell their meal's a lot better than my last Inn. It had the presence of spices, and it made me gulp my saliva.

I already had breakfast though. Lili also prepared me a bento, in case I couldn't return to my space for lunch.

While Lili's cooking was great, I might try the Inn's meal, after I was done with today's adventure.

I hope they wouldn't be lonely if I left them for a bit.

...and I should return to Earth from time to time. I was too focused on getting stronger, I forgot about them.

That aside, the stairways were pretty wide, and instead of the long corridors like the last inn, it's made a circular balcony. You could look down on the first floor from the walkway.

The floors were paved with rock, and it made a peculiar reverb, as my boots stepped in.

My room was quite far away, from the center walkway. It's at the corner most, with decent insulation.

A stone room, with a warm color. It had leather double-bed and pillows. The curtains covered the sun, giving it a cozy feel.

There were magic tools to cool down or heat things up; a metal cube placed in the upper part of the walls, just like air conditioners.

Aside from that, a magic lamp on the desk, and beside the bed. It had a special trunk and weapon racks.

The toilet's also an actual toilet, instead of chamber pots. You could sit there, on the ceramic bowl, and with a button, it would flush all the mess up. There wasn't a bidet though.

It also came with a bathtub, which you could fill with water from a valve, or just use water magic. If you unplug the cork on the bottom, it'd drain everything.

Well, it's day and night difference, from my previous city. It started to look like a place modern people could be comfortable with.

Since I already washed up, all that's left was checking myself out. Did I look like a novice adventurer? Would I stand out, like a sore thumb?

[I think it's more from your looks.]

I had the [Charm Concealment] skill though?

[Well, it doesn't seem to work on me—so I could only see you as a pretty girl.]

Actually, I was wondering—are you really a girl?

[Yup. I also love girls, is there anything wrong with that?]

...but since I'm a guy, does that mean you're actually straight?

[I don't think it matters since cute is justice.]

I couldn't agree more with that.

I love cute things as well.

...but how cute are you?

[I could say I'm pretty cute.]

Well, I look forward to seeing your human form someday.

[Yay.]

It's just a few minutes of walking, and the imposing place stood before me.

People mostly came in groups; it's like a mass LARP.

The giant double-doors were wide open.

==

"Sorry, lad. We don't accept the likes of you, now scram."

Right as I entered, I saw a young man with black hair and neat clothes.

If not for his demeanor, I wouldn't think he's someone from Earth, by that—I mean tapping the thin air like a madman.

"I'm sorry." he bowed at the bronze-armored adventurer and continue asking the others.

...but he was rejected time and time—because he's an evasion healer.

I could understand why people reject him.

The build was kinda risky, and this isn't a game.

There were several ways to counter evasion.

...and If he died, it's all over.

After several rejections, the young man sulked in the corner, and everyone ignored him.

That's when I came in.

"How's it going, bro?"

The young man sighed, "It's been several days and I could only take the lowest rank jobs. It's so tiring to do and the reward's not worth it. At this rate, the pity cash I got from the King will be gone."

His name's Makoto, a third-year student from Japan.

All the boring details aside, he's now trying to make a living as an adventurer.

[I think you skipped a lot of important details.]

It's fine, nobody cares about exposition.

"Aniki, are you one of the adventurers?"

"Ah, about that." I rubbed my hair, "I was going to register."

Makoto's face fell.

He scrutinized my gears, and probably used [Appraisal], but it shouldn't penetrate my [Fake Status].

I could see him looking more confused by the second.

"Well, good luck."

I tapped his shoulders and went to the receptionist.

I didn't like to start with menial quests like herb-gathering, so I revealed my status equivalent to a mid-level fighter.

As such, I started out as a C-rank Adventurer, I filled my class as [Battle Mage] since I wanted to fight with both arms and magic. My choice of weapon would be [Magic Rifle] due to my fascination with guns.

I immediately got offers to join several parties, I guess they love having [Battle Mages] since they're extremely versatile. They could deal with tons of damage, support + heal allies, and defend themselves.

...but I rejected them all.

"I already have a party, and I'm not comfortable working with strangers."

The invitations stopped immediately.

Although that Makoto eyed me with expectant gazes.

...but I said nothing, even when he followed behind me, on the quest boards.

Thank goodness, he was silent the entire time. If he muttered his opinion without me asking, I'd feel like slapping him.

I took the common requests first.

They should be easy enough for a C-rank party.

"Can I party with someone outside the guild?" I asked the receptionist.

I plan to get Rosa and Lili to join, in case they're bored at home.

"Certainly, you can. Although to take and submit requests, you must be a member."

That Makoto still followed me, even after I exited the guild building.

My opinion of him kept getting lower and lower.

It's only after he followed me to a quiet alley, I finally spoke.

"Just so you know, I'm not giving you any hopes."

"Is it because I'm an evasion healer?"

"Because you used [Appraisal] on me when I didn't even approve of it."

"I..."

"One of the things I hate the most is someone who tried to pry into my secrets. I don't doubt your potential, but with your character, I don't think we can get along."

[I don't like him either.]

"Even so, why did you approach me, if you're going to leave me alone just like that?"

I hate this kind of question because it wouldn't go anywhere.

"Because no matter what, you'd be fine without me. You're fine without others— believe in yourself."

After all, you're one of the main characters. You had a plot armor.

I guess, it ticked me off, when I saw myself in him. Especially when he relied on others too much, even when they treated him like shit.

If I knew it's going to be this way, I should actually ignore him, like everyone else.

"Thank you."

"Huh?"

"For believing in me, even though I never believed in myself."

He ran off, just like that, with a smile.

[Er...]

Did I ever tell him, I actually believed in him?

[You said, 'I don't doubt your potential'.]

Well, as long he's happy.

Now, all that's left was inviting Rosa and Lili.

While I could uncover the dungeon's depths using the Dragon's Eye, it's a lot more fun to just go step by step.

Hopefully, it'd be worth the effort.


	21. Peaceful Dungeon

From the quiet alley, I stopped time and hopped into the magical space.

Rosa seemed bored as hell; lying on the sofa, with her belly exposed.

While Lili looked outta it; aimlessly sweeping the floor.

Noticing me, the blue loli lit up, "Back already?"

"Arere..." Rosa rubbed her eyes, "Got anything?" the pink loli peeked behind the sofa, her tail's twitching.

"Do you girls want to explore dungeons? It'd be fun, like video games."

"No..." Rosa yawned, "VR is a lot better.."

While she sounded unwilling, her tail began to pace up.

"Father, I'll go." Lili pumped her fists, "I wish to put my studies to practice."

"Ehh..." Rosa made a O_O face.

"Don't be spoiled," Lili crossed her arms, and turned at me, "Father, I can I return before lunch?"

"Of course," I patted her head.

"Mmm..." Lili softened up; even if subtle, her smile was so calming.

...and Rosa pouted.

"I'll go, I'm a big girl." the pink loli got up her sofa, "I want Lili to pat me."

The blue loli gave us a thumbs-up.

I asked them if they'd like to hide their horns and tail, so it wouldn't bring too much attention.

"Mmm...I don't like crowds that much."

"If Lili said so, we'll just match up."

I also told them to limit their powers, so they wouldn't accidentally destroy the dungeon or something.

...and change into the clothes suited for adventuring.

With that in mind, we exited the space.

Rosa kept running ahead; curiosity filled her eyes.

While Lili kept her head down, just matching my pace.

They attracted a bit of attention since they're so cute, but it's nothing intrusive.

It didn't take long before we reached the dungeon entrance. It's right at the side of the Adventurer's Guild.

A light-armored baldy was guarding the entrance, he turned at me. "Your guild card, please."

I did such, and he gestured me to enter.

"My daughters also wanted to join. They may not look like it, but they're pretty strong."

Rosa flexed her arms, while Lili, with a red face, urged her to stop. It garnered some chuckle.

"Just go register at the guild or something."

"...but they're not old enough."

The minimum age to be an adventurer is fifteen, while they're only several days old. I'd become an old man when they came of age.

"Hmm..." the baldy tapped his chrome dome, "Whatever, the Guild isn't responsible for anything that happens within."

His voice apathetic; he even got time to leisurely pick his nose.

"Yay."

"Wait up, Rosa..."

Is it just me, or the guild seem overly lax with rules?

[Isn't that a good thing? Less hassle to deal with.]

Well, you're right.

==

Through the double doors, where a large space, with people trading several items.

Straight ahead was the cavern's mouth, between two torches.

What's beyond was pure darkness.

Several adventuring parties would line up, and enter the dungeon one by one. The long lines were formed, and they're too busy among themselves, to pay attention to us.

Judging by how several people brought their children around, it should be safe enough, at least on the first floors.

From what I knew, its layout would change, before anyone got to map it.

As time went by, it became more complex; more floors were added, and many different items can be found here.

No wonder adventurers from all over would flock here.

Their numbers grew so big, and so many people died while exploring the depths. After seeing so many tragedies, you'd eventually go numb, and think of them as mere statistics.

Eventually, it's our turn. I took Roaa and Lili's arms and stepped beyond the grey barrier.

[Blue skies, and vast grass plains? This place's more sophisticated than it seems.]

It's kinda similar to the Towers in Korean novels.

Several children and adventuring parties were playing with monsters, especially the slimes.

Unlike ones in the wild, they seem docile.

Here, you could find several nomadic villages. They reared monsters, and after some time, they'd slaughter them all for meat.

No signs of farming were present; they'd forage for plants instead.

Dungeons would reset from time to time; replenishing its drops and monsters.

While long-term buildings like houses and farmland were out, it wouldn't touch the people, or their tents, as they're recognized as equipment--not part of the dungeon itself. Although the tamed monsters won't reset.

I guess there'd be a considerable amount of tamers, to be able to make a safari and petting zoo.

Rosa eyed one of the slimes, but she seemed rather down.

She was afraid of accidentally killing the slimes when trying to pet it.

"We might need to find a stronger one, like metal slimes, for example?"

Since it was immune to physical attacks, it's probably good enough to be Rosa's pillow.

"Here," behind me, Lili carried a shining blue slime, "I already cast various buffs on it. Hug it to your hearts' content. It won't die, probably..."

"Uuu..."

The pink loli's face was red, but she still took the blue blob and squeezed it.

The gelatinous body contorted and twisted in surreal ways; the contrast with Rosa's wide, innocent smile made it scarier.

Fortunately, it survived, although when it's put down, the blob just laid there weakly--I could see its soul floating right above its body.

It's soon picked up by the tamer.

"Ah, I apologize for that, my daughter is a bit..."

'Don't worry about that, it's free of charge." the young man laughed, "It's just one of the common monsters we found on the lower floors."

The reason why they made the petting zoo, was to make people, especially the children happy. The influx of positive emotions would in turn produce a bountiful result during the next reset.

If they could keep such positivity, the lower floors would be habitable as well, but so far, only the first floor was safe.

"To us, the most important thing isn't material wealth, but to stay happy and positive."

"It's the principle that works everywhere."

...although I wouldn't say material wealth isn't important.

"Well said!"

Rosa and Lili went to the other children and played around with them.

Both seem to be popular with girls, although a few boys were present.

"It just came to me, but I never expect a dungeon to be so...peaceful."

"It wasn't like that during our ancestor's time," the tamer took off his hat, and took a deep breath, "Every day was fight after fights, and we have to stay here since we have nowhere else to go."

Summing up, due to power and love and friendship over a long time, the once hostile lands became habitable.

...but was it really the truth?

It's common for legends and folklores to be severely exaggerated.

[It sounds bullshit if you asked me.]

Though I have to break your bubble—even with exaggerations, it's a true story.

The people's collective thought indeed, are able to shape a paradise.

[...but is it really simple? No matter how positive you seem, it wouldn't stop life from treating you like garbage.]

True.

...but if you focus more on the joyful things, life will get much, much bearable.

Their history was laden with hardships, and they'd want to get over that.

No matter what happens, it's never wrong to always hope.

In the worst-case scenario, it's better to live my life with happiness, than resentment and fury.

That doesn't mean I will just accept when life treated me like shit, but it's up to me, to give payback however I wish.

I just don't like to be angry.

Whenever those emotions flooded me, it's like something trash-tier tried to take over me, and make me become a piece of shit.

That's why, if I were to finally exact vengeance, it'd be with smile and happiness, even I'd end up torturing them to death. From start to finish, I'd engross myself, in the most pleasant feeling.

Until I was able to do that, it's best not to care about things I hate.

[You've been through a lot.]

Guess so.

With this peaceful scenery, it might be nice to stay a bit longer.

...and so, I went to their cafe and ordered a cup of tea and some biscuits.

Watching my daughters play with the young ones, it's so relaxing.

Hopefully, Rosa and Lili wouldn't end up killing a child or two.

It'd be a hassle to attempt revival spell in the open. Especially if they end up becoming undead, who could only spout dead memes.

Since I felt comfortable and no one paid attention to me, I took out my phone and went to the messenger app.

There's a text from my little sister, Youko.

[Onii-chan, doing well in another world? If you're not busy, we'll have a family outing soon. Message me back when you have time.

3 days ago.]

In the end, I just typed, "Yes"

Followed with, "By the way, do you have a penis or two?"


	22. Imouto

"By the way, do you have a penis or two?"

"What's with that question? =_="

"I'm just curious."

"Would you call me your little brother, if I have a penis? What about your little brother, Onii-chan? Hehe..."

"Of course, you'll always be my cute and happy lil' sis, no matter how many penises you have."

[What's with this conversation?]

"Well, having just a penis seem handful. It'd be hard to hide my erection, especially if it's big. ^o^ It'd be uncomfortable since it makes my pant stuffy, but I heard it feels good, especially when you stick it in a girl's...whoops."

[She seem quite healthy.]

Uh-huh.

"You really don't have them..."

"If I could, of course, I want to. I mean, look at Dad...he seems so happy with his lewd body. It kinda felt nice, when our Dad is a beautiful woman with nice boobs and big PP, his lips below were also...ahaha..."

"Well, genetics can be weird. Since Dad is a futanari, I reckon one of us would be one."

[Aren't you?]

Even though I look like this, I'm a genuine man.

[Uuu...]

"That's how it is. >_< By the way, Onii-chan. What are you up to? o_O"

"Currently enjoying the other world. Did I miss the outing?"

"We went to grandma's home, and I get to milk an actual cow. We also ate her homemade noodles and rice cakes. It's so peaceful and kinda boring."

"Isn't peace good though?"

"Yeah, but I don't think you'd like such scenery, since most of the time, you'd stay at home. The internet kinda sucks in there."

"You could stay at home as well if you don't wanna go."

"...but that way, I couldn't ogle at Dad and Mom lewding each other, I want to see a futanari action. Compared to our home, in grandma's home there's a hatch..."

"I get it, I get it."

Knowing how liberal they were, I wouldn't be surprised if they let Youko watch—but even she wasn't that shameless.

[Now I wanted to see your Dad even more.]

You definitely would go along with Youko.

"Onii-chan, can I go with you? ^_^"

It took me aback. I never really considered her having an interest in the other world.

"What about college?"

"It's summer break right now, I'm really bored. Dad didn't even do yuri with Mom that night. T_T"

"...but this place's kinda dangerous."

"I'll just count on Onii-chan to protect me ^_^b"

"Well, that's my line. You can be my bodyguard."

[Pfftt...]

"Hehe, so when can you pick me up?"

"How about you try to come here on your own."

"Ehh...got it."

I shut down my messenger app and continue drinking my tea.

[Are you sure it's okay? What if something happened to her?]

No worries, just wait and see.

About half-an-hour or so, her hand popped outta my phone, followed by her arms and shoulders. Soon, her whole body was out.

[What the fuck.]

If not for my concealment, she'd garner a crowd.

"Phew!"

It's nice hearing her voice after a long while.

Before me was a young girl with a short bob cut; her black hair fluttered in this breezy cafe. Wearing her usual jacket and cargo pants, with boots tailor-made for hiking.

Her body's well-toned, and her movements were light as air. As my eyes went to her chest, I nod in satisfaction. Its size was so-so, but the shape's pretty good.

Youko blushed and covered her chest, "You perv."

[Do you prefer bigger ones?]

Honestly, I prefer them balanced.

[Hoho...]

Youko rested her thick bum in front of me, "Phew...Onii-chan, it's been a while. Your skin looked much better. I guess the other world had its own magic."

"You can say that.'

"Tried putting on a girl's clothes yet? I think you'd look hot enough to touch--"

"I don't feel much different though."

"Boo..." her pout was so cute, "I want to do yuri so bad..."

She made herself at home, ordering a full-course meal, consisting of domesticated monster meat, herb soup, slime jelly, and milk.

I felt a disturbance with the lack of rice.

[Color me surprised, but she's pretty damn strong. It doesn't seem like her first time in Isekai.]

Youko's the one I relied on the most, even since we're kids.

She's the one I trust the most, nothing can possibly go wrong with her around.

[I could see that.]

Have you ever wondered why I was a NEET?

[Nothing wrong with that. If it's not necessary to work, why would you have to?]

Yeah, you're right. Working is not for me. Not only I can't stand repetitive tasks, but I also don't get along with people in general.

I can't stand having people above me and ordering me to do pointless things. On how my livelihood would be under some old bastard who thinks he owned the heavens or something.

[No wonder why you're so adamant about facing off the Gods.]

The only ones I placed above myself are my parents, and that's because they understand me, and never told me to do something unreasonable.

For the rest, either they become my equal, or just screw off.

That's why I wanted to become strong enough, not having to rely on Youko all the time, in case I couldn't fight back.

I wanted to be someone who stands with such pride.

[...]

What's wrong?

[Nothing, it's just—you're really more than meets the eye.]

Everyone's like that when you get to know them.

...but to be honest, I don't find a lot of people interesting.

Being with them just bored me to death.

Speaking of which, I just realized, that all the girls around me are gay, even Mom.

Everyone's only attracted to me since I looked rather feminine, I could pass out as a girl.

[Does that mean you think of yourself as one?]

Not sure.

"Youko, do you see me as a girl?"

"Onii-chan is Onii-chan," she scooped her steak, dipping it to the sauce plate, and took a mouthful.

Her bright smile filled her face, as she went, "Mmm..." while rubbing her cheeks, "No matter how many penis and vagina you have, you'll always be my Onii-chan."

She patted my shoulders, and at this moment, she looked like an angel.

[This whole conversation is weird as fuck, but it's nice to have a family.]

I consider you my family as well.

[Why? It's not like we're blood-related.]

It never has to.

I think when you're with someone and wish to be with them forever, it's enough to consider them one.

[Ahh...oh my goodness...]

What's wrong?

[Nothing at all! But I won't accept you as a husband, only wife—you hear me!]

Yeah, right.

Since Youko took a while to finish, I ordered another tea.

I didn't even realize how much glass I drank that day, but I was happy, so it didn't matter.

Hehe.


	23. Tank

Ah right, I almost forgot my guild requests.

[Me too.]

If they want more parts of the dungeon habitable, why did they allow the mass-killing of monsters in the dungeon?

[Most likely, they allowed it, or else the adventurers wouldn't be able to parade like this.]

Right.

There were also terms and conditions at the guild. The areas which you could do your monster hunting, and those that forbid hunting.

The tribesman would go to the forbidden areas and domesticate the monsters for their livelihood.

My current place was one of them.

In these areas, monsters won't be hostile, and even a young child can go freely.

Though you need adult supervision, just to be safe. You also need a tribe member to follow around, and the kids need to be in the same place.

If one of the monsters happen to be hostile, you're free to kill in self-defense.

...but if you're deliberately hunting them, you'd be banned from the dungeon forever.

Such laws were only possible due to their strength. An average tribesman could go toe-to-toe with a high-level adventurer, not to mention the whole of them.

[If they're strong enough, why don't they clear the dungeon themselves? Also, since this dungeon is so large, there's gotta be ways the offenders can circumvent it.]

Think again.

The only forbidden place was this floor and the ones below.

I also shared my [Dragon Eye] findings with her.

[I see. With this level of surveillance, it's hard to even slay a rabbit without getting caught. It's not even worth it.]

Plus, the tribesman wasn't interested in adventures, it's our job to explore what's beyond.

They just wanted to live peacefully, and have mutual cooperation with the adventurers.

With that in mind, I tapped Youko's shoulder.

She's currently rubbing her swollen belly, and slumping her back against the seat.

"Awawa...Onii-chan..."

I explained my plan, and she gave me a thumbs-up.

"Seems fun!"

"...but do you have any weapon? If possible, nothing too flashy."

"Hmm..."

She pulled a wooden sword from her backpack.

Despite the plain appearance, it had the word 'Lake Toya' and infinite durability.

Not to mention, its stats were downright broken. Just where the hell did she find that weapon?

[Isn't this interesting?]

Yeah, better safe than sorry.

While I was plenty strong, I was severely lacking in combat experience.

In the meantime, we went to where Rosa and Lili were.

Since there's no ruckus going on, I was at ease.

Or not...

In the vast garden, there's a row of long seats, a makeshift wall with murals used in churches.

Two little girls, clad in wedding dresses, stood by side—with cheeks rosy red.

"Do you accept to be wife and wife? In sickness and health, in poverty and wealth."

Lili played the priest role in such detailed garments, it's almost blasphemy.

While Rosa picked up the ends, along with other children.

With the approval of both girls, Lili said in a monotone voice, "Bride, you may now kiss the bride."

Rosa couldn't hold her giggles when the brides were so nervous, they end up headbutting each other.

They end up rolling on the floor; the pure-white dress was now dyed in the dirt.

"Aww..."

"Uwaa..."

The parents also laughed.

"Hmm..."

I felt kinda strange. Were people in this world open to homosexuality?

[It doesn't really matter. You can have kids even with the same gender. It's still a novelty since most people are straight, but not taboo. Some cultures didn't like them though.]

Makes sense.

Soon, the mock wedding wrapped itself, with the yuri couple holding on a plaque of, "Congratulations for getting married."

There's also the custom of throwing a flower bouquet.

I didn't even realize, it ended up in my hand when I didn't even try to catch it.

[Whoa...]

Youko tapped my shoulders, winking her eyebrows, "Now that's my Onii-chan. Mom and Dad are expecting a grand--"

"Yay, Daddy."

"Congratulations, Father."

Seeing the lolis rushing at me, Youko's face got so smug, "Already?"

"Problem?"

"No, no..." she shut her eyes, and twirled her pointy finger, "Who's the mother, though?"

"Err...it's kind of complicated, but right now, I'm still single."

"Hoo...can I have one of them? They're so cute."

"No, Lili is mine, bad aunty."

"Mmm..." the blue loli nodded.

"So, in other words, you can expect a grandkid soon."

"They're only several days old, you sicko."

"I'm just kidding, Onii-chan."

Despite that, the lolis went red so quickly, and Lili started to rub her belly.

[I don't think there's anything to worry about. It will take a decade or two before they can conceive a child.]

When I told them so, they were so relieved, they slumped on the floor.

[So they really did it...]

I don't think it matters. If they truly loved one another, it's something to cherish.

[I hate how you made so much sense.]

"So, you plan on bringing them as well? They indeed are strong. It'd be easy to steamroll the whole dungeon right away."

"No, I'm just going for it slow and easy. If we rush, what's the fun in that?"

"Ah yes, not everyone's into speedrunning."

She returned her wooden sword to the backpack, and took an assault rifle, "I prefer doing it my pace, as well."

It's indeed a lot weaker than the sword, but for a level 1 magic gun, it's hella strong.

"Can you lend me a gun? I forgot to craft one."

She handed me a level 1 pistol. It also required mana to shoot.

"What about these girls?"

Rosa raised her hand, "I want a bazooka!"

As such, Youko handed her a bazooka from her backpack.

[It wouldn't cause a cave-in, right?]

It's only a level 1 equipment, what do you expect?

Lili twiddled her fingers.

"What's wrong, my cute 3.14?"

Youko tried to wrap her shoulders around Lili, but she always manages to dodge at the last second, causing this aunt to pout.

"Umm...I wanna pilot a giant robot."

[Despite being cute, both of them like boyish things, huh...]

What's wrong with you? Who doesn't want to pilot a Gund*m?

This sentence caused Youko to frown, "I don't have a giant robot in here, what about a mini-tank?"

"Nn."

The taciturn loli's eyes lit up when Youko brought a small-sized tank into the grass field.

While it's a mini-tank, the size's equivalent to a car.

It should be safe since, like the others, it's a level 1 equipment.

[Can she really drive it, though?]

As they said, practice makes perfect.

[I hate you.]

As such, aside from Lili, we all climbed into the tank roof and drove towards the next floor's entrance.

When the guard saw us, his sanity seems to be draining at a rapid rate, to the point he couldn't bother anymore.


	24. Have a Blast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, before I continue to Lewd Isekai Skit.

The monsters for the C-rank requests were on the tenth floor onwards.

Since the other adventurers need to make a living, I teleported everyone to the respective floors instead of steamrolling.

System Imouto told me no one's watching, so it should be fine.

While the first floors were a typical cavern area, we stood atop the tank, underneath a crimson sky. The whole place seemed eerie, with the blood moon.

The plantations seem to feed on fresh blood and corpses instead of water and soil nutrients. They even seem alive, with poisonous thorns and flowers that able to eat a human alive and quickly dissolve them.

I could feel a tingle of oppressive aura, but it wasn't much.

Though, it's too dangerous even for a C-rank party.

Although the girls weren't even shivering.

Youko just took her binoculars and unfolded her carpet, like she's on a picnic. While Rosa asked for a sandwich.

"Nom...funya...mm..."

The dragon loli happily chewed on the meatloaves with cheese and lettuce while Youko stroked her hair.

They really had no sense of caution. Though everywhere can be a playground, if you're strong enough.

I heard the tank stop, and the roof opened up. The blue loli's giving glares at Youko.

"Mou..."

Although she calmed down when this auntie gave her a sandwich and played with her hair.

"Umu."

I took two kinds of requests from the guild.

The first one was the Blood Wolves' subjugation. They always came in groups. One of them could match up to a weak C-ranker, and groups of them could overwhelm the party if there's a lapse in their teamwork.

What made them fearsome was their tenacity and their vampiric ability. Draining the enemy's vitality if they could wound them a single bit. Not to mention, they could even regenerate their lost body parts if their cores weren't destroyed.

It's harder if the adventurers took the request to acquire their cores.

Indeed, it's one of the hard requests in the C-rank bracket, but it's the easiest for us since Blood Wolves were so common, it wouldn't take long to finish.

The other monsters were scarcer due to the dominance of Blood Wolves. Not to mention, it's hard to avoid those wolves. The moment you started bleeding, they could track you to the ends of the dungeon.

I'd like to use this time to train myself and get the girls accustomed to battle.

I also want to me feel better by doing good deeds. Like whittling down the Blood Wolves, so other C-rankers can hunt in peace.

The receptionist was quite shocked when I took this one, but she eased up when I told her I was in a capable party.

The second request was Blood Tree subjugation.

Most of the plants around here were considered a Blood Tree.

The majority of deaths were actually a sneak attack from this accursed plant when people fought the wolves.

...but the thing was, they're actually resistant to magic and physical attacks.

If you overkill them, you won't get any drops, but if you went at them head-on, you would lose since their regeneration was even more insane than the wolves.

The wolves and trees weren't hard to kill for a competent C-ranker, but it's difficult if you're aiming for their drops.

It's a nice way for the lolis to train their control.

As I thought so, I saw red shapes in the distance, closing extremely fast.

"Rip and tear!" Rosa's eyes lit up as she lugged her bazooka.

"Ey." Youko unlocked the safety in her assault rifle, and I followed suit with my pistol.

The clicking sound was music to my ears.

Each of us took aim, but the tank's cannon were faster.

"Whoa."

I ducked in time before it bonked me.

"Sorry, Father!" I heard her radio-like voice from the speakers.

Before I could even retort, a bright light came from the cannon, shooting a laser-like projectile,

A loud, rumbling explosion followed up, and puffs of white smoke erupt from the nuzzle.

"As expected of a tank."

"Fufufu..." Youko crossed her hands—her nose seemed to get longer.

None of the hordes manage to move forward. The explosion threw them in the air, becoming light particles, while the rest were lifeless on the ground.

[Acquired ...]

[Acquired ...]

It was followed by annoying streams of message boxes.

"Screw off."

Thankfully it's gone for long.

At this point, even their drops wouldn't give that many transmute points.

...but hey, it's still better than nothing.

I told the girls to go wild since we'll get the drop anyway.

"Yay!" (Rosa)

"Nice." (Lili)

"Hohoho..." (Youko)

While they looked so happy and innocent, it's also the start of the apocalypse.

Even the blood-crazed wolves began to spread out and run away. we have to bleed ourselves a little to keep them stupid.

It's especially nice since there's no adventuring parties or tribesmen around.

P*kora BGM was playing in my head as we slaughtered everything.

The trees, the wolves, and even the ones caught in the crossfire, I stopped giving a fuck.

If a God has a problem, we'd be happy to beat them up as well.

"Yahoo."

The bazooka's fire traveled instantly; pillars of light started spreading like a nuclear explosion. Leaving forth giant mushroom clouds.

The pollutants started to spread in the air, crippling all plants and monsters in the vicinity. It had a corrosive effect of reducing the wolves into skin and bones and melting them away.

The plants' leaves and thorns start to corrode and fell apart on its own, and its insides soon collapse and leave the entire forest toppling.

While Lili's cannon fire would now cause fires that just wouldn't stop burning, and if the victim was dead, it would explode and spread to the others.

"That's incredibly nasty."

I knew the twins had an overwhelming destructive ability, but I never expect it'd be this potent.

Even the ground itself started to collapse, and the dungeon space itself began to crack.

"Ahem."

"Ah ha ha..." Youko rubbed the back of her head while I could see her bits of cold sweat.

"Tee-hee." (Rosa)

"Nn..." (Lili)

We overdid it too much.

I asked the twins if they could fix the space.

It'd be dangerous if they would collapse one day when the main characters went here.

Lili climbed out of her tank and tapped the air several times, ending with a slap motion. The cracks in the space dissipate shortly.

Rosa put forth a pink energy ball and hurled it to the skies. It soon 'explode', causing pink rain to gush forth, restoring the damage.

"If possible, try to restore the world as it is. Just make the wolves a bit easier for the adventurers."

"Mmm..."

The wolves and tree would respawn at a slower rate.

We also halved their regeneration, and the wolves could not easily track blood anymore.

"It should make this area a breeze for C-rank. Even a good D-rank party would be able to do well."

Since I already finished my business, I asked them if they'd like to go back.

"I'm so tired—I wanna lay in bed all day." Rosa laid atop the tank's roof and started to roll around, using her bazooka as a pillow.

"I also need to make lunch, Father."

Ah, right, they also played a lot with the kids.

"What about you?" I pointed at Youko.

"Well...this kind of thrill is too much for me, Onii-chan. I'm surprised you could stay calm like this."

"Let's just say, I trust these girls. They may wreak havoc, but they are responsible for their mistakes.

All in all, they are good girls—they deserve a reward."

"Reward!" Rosa got up right away while Lili thumped her palm; her lips curved up.

"Eh...I got a bad feeling about this."

[Same.]

Ah, this yuri girl finally spoke up.

"My lovely daughters, do you want to visit my homeworld? It's called Earth. Everyone is weak as fuck, but since you're good girls, what could possibly go wrong?"

It's been a while since I came to Earth, and I want to laze around.

When I'm finally bored, I will return to this world.

[Please don't destroy your home planet.]

Maybe it's the resonance of thoughts, but Youko was nodding at System Imouto's words over and over.

"Yay, I want to visit Akiba and cheer on my idols. Collect all the figurines, posters, and many more."

"I want to meet my Grandmother and Grandfather."

==

I teleported back to my magical space and stored our gears there.

The sight of exotic plants, with a tank, parked up-front, it's rather cozy.

Youko already noticed mine from the start, and she quickly made herself at home.

While she already ate a while ago, she still wanted Lili to make snacks. The blue loli whipped up Rosa's favorite fried rice with ham, sausages, and spam, along with assorted vegetables.

Youko got a pancake with creamy milk and a durian pudding.

While I didn't like to eat durian, I found their scent rather pleasant.

Rosa turned on the TV. It's an edutainment channel with a window logo, who love to air shows about weird people.

It's a documentary about Galapagos Island, with its strange birds.

I didn't really pay attention to the show since I was drowning myself in my single-shot espresso.

It truly hits the spot. When I got up, I went 'hnggghh' and stretched my limbs.

I decided to just finish with the minimum amount for the request, to not attract much attention.

The receptionist was still surprised by my fast completion. I just told her I was in a hurry.

With that wrapped up, we're gathered in my space.

"Ready?"

"Nn!" the twins nodded together.

I started to cast my teleport spell.

The magic circles enveloped ourselves, and the next moment, we're in front of my home on Earth.

[I can't wait to see your Dad.]

Stop being horny.

Youko pressed the bell several times, but there's no response.

Though Dad was there in the bathroom. He was swinging his rod, the usual baseball practice.

His big boobs were bouncing like basketballs.

It's nice to play both sports at the same time. No wonder his body was so lewd.

[Let me see...please?]

I didn't zoom in, since this pervert would probably cum. If she saw my Dad.

Be patient.

A few minutes later, the door opened up. There's a young girl with silver hair, with a sweatshirt whose logo was stretched beyond common sense due to his large melon, and a large bulge on her pants.

This beautiful Onee-san was none other than my Dad.

[Ahhh! Yes...yes...my waifu...]

If Mom could hear you, she might make you her waifu.

[Your Mom is hot as well, uwu]

If you want to get horny, just show your human form.

Keep it down at night, by the way. I want to sleep well.

[By the way, why aren't you horny?]

I don't need to, I guess.

Seeing people I care about living to their fullest is enough for me.

{Bleh.]

They're indeed hot girls, but I don't get sexually excited with my own family, I guess?

In any case, something was awkward between Youko, the twins, and Dad.

Dad's huge boobs were bouncing in the air.

Rosa and Lili's eyes moved up and down accordingly.

"Umm..." a tender big sister voice came from his mouth.

"Onee-san, are you Grandpa?"

Rosa's the one who broke the ice.

"Yes?" he tilted his head.

Dad looked between me and the twins, before nodding, "Yes," and invited us in.

Their first meeting was like that.

...and it's somewhat surreal.


	25. Chapter Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something I did to jog my memory easier.
> 
> Kinda lazy to continue in the end though.

Just a list of little details I might go revisit again.

Chapter 3: Arrival

The bandits act like trained soldiers--they didn't seem to be doing well.

They have mysterious backstory, what it'd be? (no promise to tell in the future).

Also, meme necromancer.

Chapter 4: The First City  
Needs to buy wand to spray my butthole.

Chapter 5: Weird Flex

Time to embezzle Guild funds to buy the bidet wand.

Chapter 7: 

I need to learn Space Magic, to make my own magical space.

...and I will reinforce it so no enemies can invade me.

Chapter 8:

I don't want to involve myself with main characters. Not only everything went their way, their enemies always suffer. Their sense of justice is hypocritical as well.

They're also impossible to kill, due to their plot armor.

Unless I had a way to deal with plot armor, I should steer clear. I'm absolutely terrible at getting along with others--especially self-righteous ones.

Chapter 9:

My mother used to be in a gang. Sometimes she brought her friends home and they're quite a nice bunch, despite their looks.

Thank goodness my mother isn't like a typical boomer. I couldn't stand people mouthing me off like they're a fucking god or something.

I don't even listen to your god. Why should I listen to you?

Chapter 10:

Stocked a lot of shit from Earth.

I also brought my entire hard drive and copied it overnight.

I might spend my Isekai journey, being a NEET in my own space.

It beats the point of going to another world, don't you think?

Chapter 11:

System Imouto can store my excess mana.

I got the feeling, she also stored the excess since way, way back.

I wonder how much of a mayhem could I bring, if I unleashed it at once. Most likely to a powerful enemy, my present self couldn't best head on.

Chapter 12:

In the past, some of my mother's homies died in prison. She said, their souls might be bound to imprisonment for all eternity.

...but the Meme Necromancer said, they're now his minions. Since he's a merry dude, I think Mom's companions won't be sad anymore.

Hopefully, it's the case.

I think he should apologize to Mom though. It's impolite to barge in like that.

Chapter 13:

[Plot Armor Breaker] lets me end a potential arch-enemy.

...but I couldn't do anything if the target was much more powerful than me, or they have magic immunity.

I need to prepare another offensive means.

There's also the thing about Gods. No matter how powerful I am, unless I got a skill or weapon that lets me damage gods--they were invulnerable to everything. Even so, there's also the massive power difference.

...but it's not like they had no weakness. I heard their strength is based on their follower's faith. Even if their followers are killed, if they still firmly believed in their God, you could not weaken them.

At their weakest state, I still couldn't do anything.

They couldn't do shit to me either.

The good thing about it: unless you directly started a fight with a god, they couldn't attack you. They would send their followers to deal with you and curse you, until you're defeated.

For the curses, it can easily be settled by allying with a stronger god. The ones you see eye-to-eye with and have teachings that align with your interests.

I wonder if there's any god who'd take me in, without trying to chain me down?

Though, when worse come to worst, I'll stand on my own, and find my own way.

Chapter 14:

The Magical Space contains farming shops. You can sell the crops farmed in here for points.

The most expensive upgrade in the store was space expansion, but it's not necessary for me.

My space could expand when I get stronger. I don't need lots of space for now.

I could also buy tons of exotic furniture. They're good to have, but not essential. I wasn't that big on cosmetics.

There were also blueprints for new buildings, which greatly helps.

Since I had poor imagination. I need as much reference as I could.

I could buy seeds, and finally—livestock! Most importantly--I could even hire a caretaker.

Their grades range from E-rank to SSS-rank. The stocks are limited as well.

Chapter 15:

That uncle started to explain the basics of the Adventurer's Guild.

You'll start at F-rank. It limits you to take Quests according to your rank.

You can rank up by submitting monster drops and completing Quests.

The higher their rank, the better the reward, and the faster you will rank up.

A small percentage of the total reward will go towards the guild. They call it the 'commission fee'.

Yuuya was like your usual Japanese Isekai MC, but kind and reliable.

While Sylvie's a beastkin with several complex, but wielded surprising capabilities.

They were gathering so much money, so Yuuya can return to Earth, and Sylvie can come along.

...but apparently they're mostly short on cash, due to Sylvie's addiction to sweets? 

Chapter 16:

At night, most establishments were closed.

Even the red-light district wouldn't take customers past a certain hour. Which reminds me, I was too busy—I didn't even have time to visit.

The only open ones were the Church of Light, in case of emergency patients.

You could usually find Elven cities blending with nature, like ones in the middle of the forest, with their elevated treehouses and isolationist nature.

They don't usually welcome Humans; most need to prove themselves to get a 'temporary permit'. If they're hidden enough, they might even attack intruders on sight, including fellow Elves.

The ones open to visit usually didn't go in too deep, like, you could enter them through the main road. They're built similar to human cities, aside from their Elven architecture--you wouldn't see anything like coal or pollution.

For the traditional Dwarven cities, they would build them on caverns and mountains.

They were pretty common in popular passes. It's a welcoming rest area, where you can pay a toll to go on, or stop by, enjoying your stay.

In the cities, you could enjoy and even purchase exotic machinery, or in their term, Makina.

To get stronger, I should eventually visit the Magic Academies.

One of them was even built around the World Tree, Yggdrassil University if I heard right.

They're not the forefront when it comes to Space Magic though.

From the books, there was a legend of a 'hidden academy'.

They exist in a separate magical space, roaming the entire world. Once in a blue moon, they would show itself to the world.

...but their whereabouts were mostly unknown.

Chapter 17:

I couldn't summon the undead, when I do--it became a Dead Meme.

Chapter 18:

To save time, I designate the next point to the nearest city.

I set it as slow as a regular carriage—it will take a day or two.

The stuff I read in the library only told about Gods in superficial level. Listing the names, their worship, and their festivals.

For now, the main priority is to learn more about the Gods, by interacting with the good main characters. To find them, we could try reading more Isekai stories and identify their cliches.

The usage of memes will only take effect if you knew how to time it well.

Like, if you made a killing in your transaction with Max level [Trading] skill, and immediately use Stonks, it will induce a [Critical Effect], which greatly increase the transaction value.

While the memes with a negative vibe might help to reduce the loss, like Not Stonks--though I hadn't tried it yet.

...and yeah, there's a reduced effect if you reuse the meme in a short period.

I wanted to check how many modules were available.

The [Scouter], for reconnaissance and counter-intelligence.

The [Guardian], for defensive mechanics; can also heal the space from damages.

The [Servant], to organize and manage the inhabitants. It also gives 'service' to the master.

The [Rogue] module, for Stealth.

There's a [Dragon] module as well, but they're extremely rare among magical spaces.

[Dragons will live in your space. Grant blessings to allies, and curse your enemies.]

With Rosa and Lili around, I feel much safer, but I don't want to burden them, with something I got into on my own.

They should live at their own pace, and I'll do my best, so they'll be happy, every single day.

Current Skills (Up to Chapter 18)

Poison Resistance

Intimidation

Transmutation - Disabled

Trading - Max Level

Fourth Wall Mastery -> Plot Armor Break

Dead Meme

[1]: the System will only learn skills that might be relevant for future plot.

[2]: the other available skills are hidden for plot convenience.

Magical Space Skills

[Dragon Module - Twin Dragons - Rosa and Lili - S+ rank]

[Rosa's Blessing: increase the growth rate of idols, sweets, plush animals, toys—anything Rosa deems fun, yahoo.]

[Lili's Blessing: greatly increase durability and recovery rate of the magical space.]

[Rosa's Curse: greatly decrease the Fun of enemies. They'll be too bored to fight, haha.]

[Lili's Curse: enemies' barriers will be much easier to break.]

Others

Owner of the Merchant's Guild - First City

Owner of a Magical Space

The Meme Necromancer


End file.
